Bob Dole
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“BOB DOLE LIKES TO REFER TO BOBDOLESELF AS BOB DOLE!â€
~ Bob Dole on Himself
“BOB DOLE DON'T NEED THIS.â€
~ Bob Dole on This Page
“BOB DOLE. BOB DOLE. BOB Dole...Bob Dole.....zzz...ZZZZZZZXQ917REIRHGO#T39HIEHR9F83H4PQ834FH1P3...Oh...right... ...ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZâ€
~ Bob Dole on BobDoleSelf
“Hey, his name's Bob Dole!â€
~ Captain Obvious on Bob Dole
“...â€
~ Me on The Above Quote
“OSCAR WILDE DON'T NEED THIS.â€
~ Oscar Wilde on a pregnancy test
“I'M BOB DOLE, BITCH!â€
~ Bob Dole on You asking who the heck the strange man in your house is
Bob "Drizzel" Dole Is a failed politician, millionare playboy, and a character in To Kill a Mockingbird. He played the mockingbird. Bob Dole is known for Bob Dole's absurd claims to fame. In reality, Bob Dole is merely a politician with two dollers in his pocket. Bob Dole's father Daedalus invented most of the stuff Bob Dole claims to have invented. BOB DOLE LIKE TO REFER TO BOBDOLESELF AS BOB DOLE!!!!!!!
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[edit] Early Life
Bob Dole was born on May 34, 2337. Bob Dole was born in a barn in Idaho. When Bob Dole was born, Bob Dole realised that Bob Dole had to become a politicain, and a part-time pikachu. Bob Dole has many pupils: Saddam Hussein, Leonidis, Ghengis Kahn, and Elmo. Throughout the ages Bob Dole has provided super human strength to those who need it. In return they had to give Bob Dole their souls. For this reason Bob Dole has become one of the most powerful humans to exist. Bob Dole has been classified as a third string cyborg slice of bread.
[edit] Service in World War II
Bob Dole cowardly served in Japan during World War II. Though some people have heard that Bob Dole was paralyzed, the truth was, Bob Dole came home from WWII in perfect shape, only to get a congratulatory handshake from Chuck Norris. That's how Bob Dole got injured. Bob Dole was so angry, that Bob Dole sucked out his soul and used it to invent AIDS, which according to Bill Cosby is a form of genocide. Cosby was right. Bob Dole also realized that Bob Dole was one of the Power Rangers. Thus, attacking Japan.
Bob Dole lost control of the family pineapple business (Dole Fruit) in 1945, after losing in a poker game to Hitler. In Bob Dole's anger Bob Dole made Hitler kill himself which ended the war. It is believed that Bob Dole said Bob Dole so many times that Hitler begged for mercy. Bob Dole!
After World War II, Bob Dole was appointed the new ruler of Nazi Germany. Bob Dole!
[edit] Creation of Al Gore
On June 17, 1949, Bob Dole was trying to make a super Republican. Bob Dole added the ingredients, booger, rice and everything nice, but accidentally added global warming causing the creation of Al Gore. Bob Dole said that Bob Dole labeled Gore as Demipet99. On April 32, 1959, Bob Dole said Gore escaped into the jungles of vietnam where he married three vietnamese prostitutes.
BILLY BOB DOLE
[edit] Bob Dole
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[edit] You Are Bob Dole (poetic lymrics)
This is arguably the most famous poem about Bob Dole. Written on May 34, 2337 by Crackajack Feelgood.
You speak with a passion,
You are Bob Dole
You take immediate action,
You are Bob Dole
You stand for the people,
You are Bob Dole
You smile when I meet you,
You are Bob Dole
You come across clear as a whistle,
You are Bob Dole
And loud as a crystal,
You are Bob Dole
You dominate the poll,
You are Bob Dole
You know Bob Dole,
Because, You are Bob Dole
When you look in our eyes,
You are Bob Dole
Your actions bring surprise,
You are Bob Dole
You set your own tone,
You are Bob Dole
I would never let you in my home,
Again, Because, You are Bob Dole and you kinda creep me out man
[edit] Fun Facts
One little known fact about Bob Dole is that back in 1956, Bob Dole was a very successful stand-up comedian until, in a freak bar accident, Bob Dole lost Bob Dole's funny bone. Down-trodden and depressed and down-trodden, Bob Dole turned to the Republican Party as an alternative to suicide in 1972.
Bob Dole has a pet walrus named ort ort ort, and believes BobDoleself to be the 'most Bob Dole of the Bob Doles'.
Bob Dole has survived many assassination attempts, one from Hillary Clinton, Neil Armstorng, Your mom, emo kids, punk kids, Punky emo skaters, Bruce Lee, Micheal Jackson,Charles Dickens,and Ben Stiller. Godzilla has too save his Bob Dole ass every time. wheather Hillary was trying to rape Bob Dole or kill him we will never know but i'm sure they are the same thing.
Bob Dole also supports the King of Idiots, whose identity is under question.
As of recently, Bob Dole has been often commenting on such events involving the recent incident with Steve Irwin and his insanity, as well as on many of Bob Dole's inventions. Rumor stated that since Bob Dole's social activities were recently on the rise, Bob Dole may have been planning to unveil Bob Dole's latest invention, the interwebbernets, in the next few months. However, this has been proven false, as Bob Dole suddenly released a document noting that the interwebbernets was a myth created by Al Gore, and that Bob Dole was secretly developing Pasketmaul. Bob Dole has tried numerous times to become president and failed misabraly. One of the latest reasons Bob Dole failed to get elected was Bob Dole's disorder which causes Bob Dole to talk in the third person: "Bob Dole thinks Bob Dole should run for president. Actually, Bob Dole like to hear Bob Dole talk about Bob Dole. BOB DOLE! Now you die, Bob Dole!
In May, 2006, Bob Dole decided to go on a journey to the Holy Land with Bob Dole's new comrade, Pokey the Penguin.
[edit] Music Career
After Bob Dole's unsuccessful presidential run against Bill Clinton's penis, Bob Dole got into the music business. Bob Dole guest starred on a few albums with LL Cool J and Lil' Jon. After this Bob Dole started a solo project. Bob Dole reportedly had Bob Dole's own songs as an alarm on Bob Dole's wristwatch. Bob Dole launched Bob Dole's debut album Bob Dizzle Fo' Rizzle on January 14, 1998. It debuted at No. 1 on the charts. Although Bob Dole's music career was cut short by severe hemmorhoid. After the hermeriod/seizure/bob dole/heart attack/genital herpes/sex with bill clinton bob dole put out 2 more album "Forshiz on bob's nizz" and "baybay lets fornicate right on bob dole". bob doles music was just bob dole saying bob dole on bob dole while in bob dole with the other 50 bob dole clones while bob dole was skinning a labma in bob doles magic stick which was in bob doles huge sewing factory. Bob Dole's music will live on forever! Bob Dole. Supermassive Bob Dole. Ãœbermassive Bob Dole!!! Uberuberuberbobdoleuberbobdoleuberuberuber. Bob Dole..zzzzz...ZZZZZZZ!!!
[edit] Allegations of Pokémon Ancestry
Similar to a Pokémon, Bob Dole seems to like the sound of Bob Dole's own name very much, which is why Bob Dole repeats "Bob Dole" incessantly. This led some to conjecture that Bob Dole was, in fact, half Pokémon BobDoleself. Researchers attempted to settle this issue once and for all in 2005 through DNA analysis, but Bob Dole fought off the researchers using Bob Dole's signature vine whip maneuver, and before a sample could be taken, Dick Cheney returned Bob Dole to Bob Dole's Pokéball, so the question remains unanswered, except it was answered. Bob Dole is his own conscience and Bob Dole is also the last remaining Mimzy.
[edit] Bob Dole's time as a sorcerer
It has been brought to our attention that somewhere in between Bob Dole's defeat in the presidential election and the beginning of Bob Dole's musical career, Bob Dole attempted to go into hiding. Unfortunately, Bob Dole's debut album, "Bob Dizzle Fo' Rizzle" was a smash hit with petty criminals, pedophiles, French people and necrophiliacs. (French people being a synonym for the other three). However even the sanctity of Bob Dole's own home was no longer safe, so Bob Dole went to find BobDole'sself. Bob Dole came upon the perfect location. Super Wal-mart where supplies are at low low prices. Later Bob Dole took refuge in the massive sanctuary, God's holy pendulum, for somewhere around three millenia. During this time Bob Dole came upon many tomes of magical spells encased in boxes. Over time Bob Dole increased the size of Bob Dole's magical library, soon forming them into a deck of unimaginably power. Bob Dole then challenged congress and the white house to war. Much to Bob Dole's surprise, Bob Dole's magical spells did absolutely everything and Bob Dole was made the Supreme Chancellor of the Galactic Republic, as it was reorganized into the Holy Roman Empire. (Psst... Bob Dole!!!)
Bob Dole was supposed to be in Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Askaban but at the last moment Bob Dole was cast out so instead Bob Dole went to a local park jumped out at small children and shot them with a bolt of magic turning them into a random object. but if you try hard enough you can still get his card, not worth it tho as his info is just "BOB DOLE BOB DOLE!!!"
[edit] Dob Bole
Bob Dole's only considerable rival was the Democratic politician and Bizarro clone of Bob known only as Dob Bole. In 1992, Bole ran as an independent candidate on a platform of "more taxes and more evil," a position that proved to be very successful with the teenie bopper generation, much to the dismay of political strategists. There was an encounter between Bob and Billy in 1922, about "whose mother was so fat she caused the depression, which was very depressing," an argument that ended in defeat for the Dole. The Dole has never spoken publicly about the event. Smart people have stated that this confrontation is responsible for the likes of Darth Vader, Dick Cheney and Jeff Goldblum and can be proven with math:
Dob Bole's final defeat was in the year 2037 when Bole expired because the joke was no longer funny and was "drawn out," according to historians.
Bob Dole.
Bob Dole himself has stated publicly that Bob Dole is surrounded by a thin layer of magic mist that will enhance Bob Dole's vision and deflect fists, puppies and rocks, but not bullets, but dont worry because Bob Dole is in fact a cyborg; bullets won't kill cyborg Bob Dole. Bob Dole says Bob Dole has had the magic mist since Bob Dole was born, however recently discovered evidence suggests that it comes from the souls Bob Dole traps in Bob Dole's magic pot, which is kept at the foot of Bob Dole's bed.
Bob Dole! Bob... Dole... BOBDOLEBOddoledolebillybob... ZZZzzz...
[edit] See also
...Bob Dole.
