Bodger and Badger

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Mr Bodger with his long term bum fun gay partner, Badger

Bodger and Badger was a controversial - and at times confrontational - childrens TV series which was first broadcast in 1989 and continued up until the tragic Mashed Potato murders of 2000.

The Mashed Potato murders were dramatised in the infamous movie Never Far Away, which enjoyed a brief release in 2001 but was pulled from cinemas shortly after.

In the opening statement of the Bodger and Badger theme tune, it is claimed that the pair are "never far away". In the light of recent research conducted by Mousey and I, we have uncovered that this is the first, and perhaps most telling of a series of lies that riddle the entire series, and reveal it to be a conspiracy of gargantuan proportions.

[edit] Controversies

One controversial episode, was deemed unsuitable for children, involved Badger going to the local newsagents to collect pornographic material for Bodger. Bodger finds Badger having a five knuckle shuffle over it only for Mr Bodger to get a mouthful of spunk after Badgers spunk goes out of control. Mr Bodger then goes in search of another porn magazine and he finds one down the back of the sofa only to try and open it and find it's been glued by Badger! He then chases Badger around a spunk filled living room where all the spunk is up the wall and on the floor! Then, in classic Bodger and Badger slapstick, Mr Bodger slips up on Badger spunk and cracks his head open only for Bodgers brains to be spilling out all over the carpet! Bodger is seen frothing at the mouth and has his eyes crossed! Badger and Mousy are then seen laughing all the way while the credits roll up! Parents complained to the BBC after the show had taught their kids some bad lessons! The BBC and Mr Bodger only commented saying it was only a bit of fun!

In real life, Mr Bodger was convicted of paedophilia after he indecently assaulted kids at a live show. It was also later discovered that he had 179456 images of child porn on his computer! THE DIRTY EVIL CHILD SNATCHING BASTARD!

During a live show for Bodger and Bdager, Mr Bodger was drunk during the performance and was seen sticking his hand up Badgers hairy arse. All the kids screamed while Mr Bodger hacked Badger up with a chainsaw.

In another controversial episode, one scene had Mr Smart and Mr Bodger having passionate sex in the bed while both made grunts and moans! The scene ended when Badger jumped into the bed only to bite both their bollocks off!

[edit] The Conspiracy Explained...

One of the first and most startling facts I came across on this journey (if you will), was that the mashed poatato which Bodger supposedly loves so much is in fact simply a metaphor for the negative prison mentallity that has been controlling this planet from day one. Every time bodger is about to truly express his five dimensional self, Badger is only too quick to put a mash potato ending to his sentiment. What kind of brain washing effect do you think this has on the children that watched this show?

A recurring theme in the show is the number of levels present in all its aspects. For example the manipulative underworld, literally expressed as the mouse den under the house, and all the secret passages that Badger is able to fit through throughout the house (usually with the result of springing up and attacking the beaten-down, world weary, tiresome figure of Bodger (with the symbolic mashed poatato as ever)).

And what of the secret underworld inhabited by mousey, that badger is only too keen to exploit? Think about how much of an out come these scenes tend to have on the general "plot" in most episodes. Just what subliminal effect is this having on our children?

Not to mention the powerful symbolic effect of badger actually EATING Mr Smart's kids. This is surely a symbolic transmutation of the western world's attempts at population control, and survival of the fittest mentallity.

I have been lucky enough to have have been shown a door into this realm by a very brave woman, namely Mousy. She was inspired by the first whistleblower (Mrs Dribble) and has come clean about her involvement in this debauched underworld.

[edit] Witnesses

• Bodger and Badger Bodger and Badger have made appearances on stage and in court. There would've been more stage appearances, but ever since the incident where Badger got very hungry and 'mistakenly' assumed there was lots of mashed potato in the audiences, managers have not exactly been forthcoming with stage invitations.
• Mrs Dribelle - has been called as a character witness in the ongoing court cases several times. Also, the towns local prostitute where Bodger would hire her on many occasions.
• Mr Smart - owns of the house next to Bodger's. Has a dislike for badgers, especially when Badger messes up his garden and eats his kids. Is a convicted paedophile! In one hilarious episode, he got sent to jail for looking up child porn! Mr Smart is his stage name, while his real name is Pete O File.
• Mousey a prostitute mouse who hangs on street corners who has shagged badger many times

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