Boiling Pitch Ocean
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Six hundred and sixty-six miles beneath Cuba lies the Boiling Pitch Ocean. It's a small ocean as oceans go, studded with lava pinnacles and deposits of brimstone (sulfur).
[edit] Mythology
The BPO has entered religious mythology under the names Hell, Jahannum, Naraka, Hamestagan, Anenti, and many others. Legend populates it with devils and demons. In most religions unbelievers, blasphemers, Peewee Herman, and evildoers are cast into this nether region by the Deities so that they can be magically tortured for all eternity.
[edit] Economic Reality
Most of the legends are misleading, however. The Boiling Pitch Ocean is not governed by demons, not constructed for the torment of evil people, and not especially supernatural. The creatures who live there simply want to get along, and they have to eat something for goodness' sake.
That something consists of people who have lost their luggage in a major airport and filed a report at the complaint counter. Invariably they are sent to a "special office." However, the inhabitants of the BPO have drilled tunnels through the Earth and connected them to the elevator shafts in most airports of any size. When a person tries to use the elevator to reach the "special office" they are transported to the BPO instead. (The denizens of the BPO know darned well that nobody in the airport will ever look for someone who has complained about lost luggage.)
Of course, once they reach the Boiling Pitch Ocean their fate is not a happy one.
| Earth's Fifteen Oceans |
| Antarctic Ocean ~ Atlantean Ocean ~ Atlantic Ocean ~ Billy Ocean ~ Boiling Pitch Ocean |
| Dawson's Creek ~ Indian Ocean ~ Martian Ocean ~ Mediterranean |
| Ocean Connery ~ Pacific Ocean ~ Phlegmatic Ocean ~ Russian Ocean ~ Southern Ocean |
