Boohbah
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“Boobah is to DMT as Teletubbies is to LSD.”
~ Oscar Wilde on Boobah
"They're like baby chick mutants sent to brainwash the masses"
- Conspiracy nut on Boohbah
“They're like big, but they have these flappy bits near the top that go up and down to cover the head. And uh, heh heh... head.”
~ Butt-head on Boohbah
Boohbah is another Communist funded burlesque show along the lines of Saved by the Bell, aimed at rodents between thirteen and sixteen years old who are unemployable, goof off in school, and smoke crack, intended to distract the potentially meddlesome revolutionaries by encouraging them to masturbate their brains out.
It depicts the slightly retarded adventures of five happy, colourful penis-like aliens. It premiered in the early 2000's on acid in the Crown territory of Ghana, and quickly spread to the region of Nazi Europe (typified by the Netherlands, Sweden, and Ohio) to encourage that nations youth to procreate in light of dwindling populations. It finally reached and the United States of America to be used to preoccupy the redundant populations X and Y during the coming depression. It also made a guest star appearance on the show Metalocalypse and was a fill-in spot for the overweight neutered fatty ding-dong
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[edit] Characters
There are two sets of main characters on Boohbah:
- The Poopbahs, who are five colorful toy products in the making, shit on little kids and then eat them as if they were whipped onions and live in a glowing white ball of light (who many speculate is a giant testical, and have dubbed it "The Wankatorium"). There are five different Boohbahs:
- Groucho, who is sarcastic and full of whimsy
- Harpo, who is actually a teletubby
- Chico, who has a gambling habit
- Gummo, who is the most jewish
- Zeppo, who is the boring one
Despite variation in color, there is absolutely no way to tell the Boohbahs apart, all behave in a vastly primitive manner liken to brain-damaged toddlers in which they participate in simplistic, repetitive aerobic play and pass gas. Please do note that generally their hides are worth about $89.99 at your local GAP.
- The Mexicam Porno Party who appear in your inbox offering hot sex action (possibly genetically engineered clones or merely brainwashed for the sex slave trade). These characters are horny.
The Mexican Porno Party behave in a cardboard manner, suggesting stunted mental development or narcotic influence (made apparent by their simplistic actions and reactions to vague external stimulus). They are utlilized to to do stupid "educational" things so as to help the show pass as such.
[edit] The Wankatorium
One of the common features in Boohbah is a large glowing Orb which many have dubbed the "Wankatorium" in response to the show's subtle sexual overtones. The Wankatorium is said to be a giant glowing testicle, and is the place the Boohbahs live. It travels from country to country when it is called by children and appears to be hyperdimensional. Inside is a sparkling electrical storm and a complicated fabric/cotton mesh where the Boohbahs sleep, recharge energy, and waste their meaningless time. The energy is created by the laughter of the children when playing with "the Wankatorium", and the Russian Porno Spampeople.
Others argue the Wankatorium simply represents an atomic particle and the Poohbahs are advanced aliens gently introducing children to the secrets of the universe by acting like quarks within the atomic particle. The people who put that theory forward are also prone to auditory hallucinations, so the advanced alien theory has fallen out of favor.
[edit] The elements of the program
Each show follows the same sequence of events in every episode. The sequence of events are:
- Opening title. The Wankatorium flies over at least three out of 15 different countries (Australia, China, Ecuador, Egypt, France, Germany, India, Jamaica, Japan, People's Glorious Republic of Uukumbamabahalarata, Russia, South Africa, Spain, United Kingdom, United States)
- Boohbah warm up. The Boohbahs wake up and begin doing stupid things like falling over eachother and passing gas.
- Storyworld and the Russian Porno Spampeople. A ersatz educational moment is presented with one or two characters demonstrating simple acts such as making oatmeal or operating a stove. There is lots of unfunny slapstick that would make Charlie Chaplin go on a zombie-rampage. The whole story is narrated by someone who clearly no longer has an interest in being alive.
- Boohbah dance, where the Boohbahs perform a dance related to the "Storyworld and the Russian Porno Spampeople" segment (merely an excuse to .
- End title. The Boohbah domain flies over the countries again, only this time kids play with it like a ball. It also creates a portal of some sort that the kids dance over.
[edit] Creator
Boohbah was created by H.R. Puffinstuff after years of brain damage from LSD abuse. Rumors have recently spread of Puffinstuff of only making "Boohbah" to get over his own inability to stop farting rainbows that make him fly. According to sources, the show simply represents what Mr. Puffinstuff sees on a daily basis as his reality.
[edit] Warnings
The Boohbah dance is lethal to most people as it will distract most people's attention, and will most likely kill them if they were in the middle of an action that could save their live, such as dodging a car, eating, not committing suicide, or lighting a torch in a grue infested cave. The BS (Boobah Stop) group has sent several letters regarding this to the UN. After intense research and deaths of many of the members, the UN found this to be true and had issued a death warrant for all Boobah. Anyone who sees a boobah must now get a knife and slash the forearm of the boobah before it can retract to it's titanium protective sphere. This death warrant had to be retracted when several Americans died when attempting to slash the TV screen when boobah was on, and were sued by their relavites when the UN did not make warnings not to slash TV screens, not to drink very hot coffee, not to jump off large cliffs, and not to stab themselves with large knives.
[edit] In Case OF Emergency
If Ever Confronted By a Boohbah (Biologic-Oprah-Orphan-Hitler-Baby-Annihalator-Hellspawn) Begin To Run In The opposite Direction, I suggest you stop at the nearest CVS they have great deals on Latex Free Gloves. Or If you happen to have a surgical scalpel and a live slug (Arion rufus), stab the Boohbah quickly, lather, rinse, and repeat. Then take the slug and start bashing the nearest "STOP" sign with it. The Stop sign should in turn smack back, causing a slew of Israel Defense Forces parade activists to consume the Boohbah leaving behind Duke Snider baseball card, estimated worth= 3 nickles, one Egyptian Weave Towel and 13 pebbles shaped oddly like French Prime Ministers
[edit] General Controversy
An episode of Boohbah titled Bend Down for Whaletale was banned in Mexico, Canada, Brazil, France, and the United States because it showed a 2-frame shot of a man with large women's breasts.
In another episode, the orange Boobah is clearly flipping off an unceen crewworker. No details are yet known on why.
[edit] Boobah
This show is only good for kids, because it teaches them how to say bad words. Such as, Boobs, and poo. Its good to learn early than late. Kids have to grow up on these things. This show was actually created by Anna Nicole Smith. She wanted it to be part of Hunter S. Thompson's movie "Farts and Loving in Las Vegas", because she thought it reminded her of an acid trip. Instead, it scared her to death. Literally. She didn't even drop a blotter.
[edit] Links
Categories: Oscar Wildeizms | Pr0n | Characters | Television | Sexuality | Wankers | TV shows
