Book of Revelation

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God tells John of Patmos to believe in his drug-induced hallucinations.
God tells John of Patmos to believe in his drug-induced hallucinations.

The Book of Revelation is an erotic novella that describes the end of the world. The main characters are a dragon and a pregnant woman,and Ronnie Corbet,whose children the dragon is trying to eat. Other characters include the Beast of the Land, the Beast of the Sea, the Beast of those Swampy Places That Aren't Really Land Or Sea, and the Beast of Burden.

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Each character in the novella is a symbol for an actual person that will be living in the end times. For centuries priests, scholars, and Quantum mechanics have been searching for the true identities of these Archetypal Images, continuously beating their heads agaionst the wall until dead.

In Semptember of 2000, scientists and theologians at CERN were able to isolate the date and probable identities of the main players at the Apocalypse by bombarding Greek Religious Iconography with nuclei from Absinthinium atoms.

[edit] Character Development

Prior to his fight with Lennox "The Cable Man Who Did Your Wife" Lewis, Mike Tyson revealed to the world that he is in fact the dragon in Revelation

Lennox Lewis, I'm coming for you man. My style is impetuous. My defense is impregnable, and I'm just ferocious. I want your heart. I want to eat your children. They taste great with Teriyaki sauce, maybe a little bit of butter, with mashed potatoes on the side.

~ Mike Tyson on the coming Apocalypse and his carnal appetites for children

To the surprise of most Christian child-eating boxing fans, it turned out that Lennox Lewis is actually a pregnant woman. Once this had been established, the identities of the other character's quickly fell into place. The Beast of the Land was found to be Jimmy Carter, the Beast of the Sea was found to be Cher, and the other beast were found to be two palm trees in Florida, But that's not important right now.


In the year 2007, the President of the Northern Hemisphere, Margaret Thatcher, declared war on the Book of Revelation. However, she was defeated in late 2099. This had no bearing on anything at all.

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