Botany
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Botany is the fascinating study of plants.
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[edit] Plants
Aren't plants just amazing? I sure think so. From a tiny seed to a mighty Oak! The Fir! The Larch! The Redwood! The mighty Scots Pine! The plucky little Aspen! Why it makes me want to sing, sing, sing!
But I won't.
Botanists are a special breed of people. Courageous and daring they are able to spot a Bristlecone Pine and forty kilometers. Training begins early in life with botanists sent to camps in the woods where they learn how to make fire, skin animals, and identify shrubbery. Alike unto gods they come back, having grown from but seeds of men and saplings of youth into mature poles. All cities and some large towns have local botanists. Gallup polls indicate that botanists are seen as the fourth most productive members of society, after policemen, firefighters, and teachers, but ahead of librarians. Nameless and mysterious they do their work without fame, or recognition, identifying specimens as the the world passes by.
[edit] More Plants
Botany as a study is relatively new. First begun in 1900 under the tutelage of Sigmund 'Furry' Freud identifying specific types of plants as being psychologically inhibiting (The Oedipal Cypress, The Repressed Elm and The Submissive Willow, for example) lead to the idea of identifying all sorts of plants for the reason that no one had done it before, and why not?
By 1910 over 1,000,000,000,000,000,000 plants had been identified when someone had the idea to identify plants by type instead of individuals. This pioneering thinker was Carl Jung, who opposed the Freudian school of botany and placed emphasis on the ability to dream-identify. All sorts of plants, as a consequence, have been identified as existing in dreams but not reality (The Red and Purple Spanking Tree, The Screaming Rose, and The Man-Eating Ivy, for example). Since the 1950's botany has excised itself from the world of psychoanalysis and concentrates solely ont he scientific study and identification of plants, and how to use them to harm others.
[edit] Still Plants
Plants are divided by dichotomous keys, that is working from one of two options of the most general traits and following one branch working to increasingly specific characteristics. The basic dichotomy woks as such:
- Green or Not Green
- Green- Tall or Short
- Not Green- Brown, Red or Other
- Tall- Leaves or Needley-things
- Short- Squat or Miniature
- Brown or Red- Dead or Alive
- Other- Lycophytes or Angiosperms
In this simple way almost anyone can narrow down, using a guide, what sort of tree they're gawking at, or any plant for that matter.
Plants have been basically divided into six main groups:
[edit] Got Some More Plants For You Here
Recently botanists have been gaining media attention for the role their work plays in contrast to that of lumberjacks. Lumberjacks claim that botanists don't allow them to cut down trees, since they're too busy studying them. Often botanists are considered to be tree huggers for this reason, although sentiment plays no part in a serious student of botany.
