Boulder

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You may have been looking for the kind of rock: boulder. Too bad for you.

Boulder. The home to the most liberal, gay, drug-adicts ever, outside of San Francisco. It is also home to many dirty street kids, effete liberal college proffessors, and yuppies. So, outside of the yuppies, not a bad place.

Ok, I'm sorry for the abrupt introduction, but it's true. I will be your tour guide today, as we walk through the pearl street mall, and the many other wonders that Boulder has.


Contents

[edit] History

Ok, so you are probably wondering what the history of Boulder, Colorado, USA, Earth, Solar system, galaxy, etc., is. Boulder actually (if you can believe it) used to be a rather nice small little town. But then the liberals began to take over. That's when everything went wrong. BUTcha know? ALSO, B-train has a freekkkky New Age population. (yes, there is some cross-over w/ the hippies), but the new age is more... new age-y. With like, flowey gowns and white hair. BUT WHAT? You rarely see flower children. yes, dirty street kids are a site. But it's shopping shopping shopping at the Mall. They listen to only wind chimes for music and eat only sprouted beans. They always have kids, (and most always - nice landscaping projects underway).[IMG]boulder-MR-pearl-street-mall.jpg[/IMG]

[edit] Taking the Tour

Anyway, walking down Pearl Street mall can be very interesting. Those guys over there smoking marijuana are actually kind of cool, if they let you in their gang. And that poster over there with the woman without a shirt, that's common too. A bit vulgar, but it's all very interesting. See that evil looking guy over there holding a sign saying "GOD BLESS! I HAVE A WIFE AND KIDS TO TAKE CARE OF. ANYTHING HELPS." Well, that's common too. Just one more gay drug-adict (he's probably had a lot of wives and kids too.) And see those too guys hugging over there? Watch closely and you will see them attempt to adopt a Chinese baby.

(This part of the article presents to many facts. Someone fix it please!)

[edit] CU

Now we have come to CU (Colorado University) One of the top party schools in the nation. Wooooo! Par-tay! (also renowned for many other things, most of which you already saw at the pearl street mall) Not much to see here unless you enjoy partying (oh, you do? Well, you can come back later. We need to go on with our tour.) Another reason to stay here is if you enjoy watching horrible football teams get owned (or good football teams on the road to victory), or if you enjoy seeing 20-year-old privileged brats walk away from rape convictions because they can catch a friggin' ball.

[edit] Architecture

Boulder has very interesting architecture (mostly from the 1920's) and is therefore falling apart. Also, Boulder doesn't have much of a construction crew, because ever square foot has already been used, so there is nothing more they can build. So what they mostly do is clean up vandalism and graffiti (Boulder's graffiti-ists are famous)


[edit] Religion

Boulder's religion = atheism. Come on, what do you expect from liberals?and the great skyfox

[edit] Jane Doe Boulder

There is a wanted woman in Boulder Colorado called JAne Doe Boulder she is spooky and has a weird name If you have seen her. RUN RUN AWAY SHE WILL KILL YOU!!!!

[edit] Anti-Boulderists

Some people hate boulder so much they would gladly fuck everyone there. But as most Republicans tend to be more violent kinds of people, a lot of them would more likely use a more violent (and less tedious) method. Some people have threatened to take out their anger on Boulder if Hilary Clinton becomes President. In conclusion some people hate Boulder for no real reason, aside from their horrible gay football team.

[edit] Conclusion

In Conclusion...fuck off.

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