Brahmin
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Brahmins are members of the highest 'Varna' in Hinduism.They were so ahead of their times that around 1000 BC ,they constructed a time Machine and casting evil chants and blobs of Mescaline at Aldous Huxley downloaded Brave New World from his Vista Enabled PC ,without his permisssion and incorporated the caste system into their Scriptures . The so called preservers of all knowledge, the people born of privilege who often brag about their fairer complexion compared to other 'dalits' and have claimed the universe for themselves.
These are the people who will you will often find eating a chicken sandwitch outside a Subway in Pune. They never marry Muslims, but are the first people to eye beautiful muslim girls of Iranian Descent.You will never ever find a Brahmin, for such things are never talked about...(Gay Brahmins are too busy being surreptitious). Some Brahmins may always claim to be teetotal, be sure to spot one such Brahmin at your local pub who in a drunken rage will chant all sorts of meaningless mantras which neither he, nor a sober Brahmin, will ever understand.
Contents |
[edit] Jobs
The only jobs suitable for Brahmins, according to a few of their senior inbreds, are those which are 'respectful', which means Brahmins would only be Doctors, Lawyers, Engineers and priests if the inbreds were to have their way.
Brahmins who aspire to serve their country in the Military or Police Force are deemed as 'idiots' by these inbreds. The bravery of such Brahmins is not seen as a contributary factor towards the continuing propagation of such senior inbreds, after all it is the stars in the horoscopes of these senior inbreds that commands god Shiva to awake from his meditation and open his third eye in order to destroy the enemy forces, all thanks to the noble deeds of a inbreds previous birth, thus saving Brahmins. Even the time of an enemies attack can be predicted by viewing a horoscope.
[edit] Sex Life
Although the author of the Kamasutra was a Brahmin, Sex is never talked about in a Brahmin Household rather he learned it from neighbouring chamaar´s wife. Brahmins are so smart, they merely need to invoke the god of genetic engineering from the pantheon of millions of Hindu gods in order to reproduce. This Ritual can only take place between two Brahmins, attempting to reproduce with a non brahmin usually leads to infertility...(a non-Brahmin probably has a terrible STI anyway) WARNING: using words such as 'masturbation' and 'blow job' may cause a Brahmins head to Asplode!.
[edit] Famous Personalities
Sharma- Many time called 'simply sharma', is a very shy person. Along with Verma, he creates the most famous (read hilarious) couple of Indian literature. Many people think that they are Gay, but once Sharma told me secretly in bed that he would rather get fucked by a tranny than Verma. Oh wait, did just tell I was in bed with him? Damn! I gotta control myself.
Verma- He is not actually a Brahmin. He himself is confused, or might not want to tell. But he says he is sure a Gay couple with Sharma, he told me once in bed. Damn! Did I tell that again?
