Brain Pop
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“You put the lime in the Coke, you nut, not the Pop in your brain!”
~ Coca-Cola executive on Brain Pop
Tired of standard beverages? Want a new, refreshing and extreme taste sensation? Try Brain Pop today!
Contents |
[edit] About Brain Pop
Our expert scientific researchers have recently proven that "drinks" such as "Coke", "Pepsi", and "Zombies" are actually inferior goods. WashUrBrain Inc. is now dedicating it's entire resources to providing YOU with a superior product to satisfy the needs of consumers dissatisfied with ordinary drinks across the entire world!
Our unique recipe is comprised of a secret blend of herbs and spices, blood, sweat, tears, and an unknown chemical. It has been proven to be entirely safe - the ingredients were listed on a tablet in Hidden Temple #61.
[edit] Consumption
As Brain Pop is a superior-quality product, some preparation is required before one may consume it - this is to prevent idiots from tainting the divine spirit of Brain Pop.
You must have a scapel, a mirror, and optionally a hinge.
[edit] All you need to do is:
- Look at your face in the mirror.
- Make a small incision in your forehead.
- Carefully cut across the whole of your head, allowing removal of the scalp.
- Install the hinge on your scalp so you can open up your head like a window - this prevents you from losing your scalp accidentally.
Once this is done, simply walk over to your nearest local store and buy some Brain Pop. Open up your head, pour the Pop in and experience the taste explosion!
[edit] The effects of Brain Pop
Once consumed, the Brain Pop will be absorbed into your brain, bypassing such outdated methods as "drinking through your mouth", directly stimulating your taste, smell and sight brain cells to provide a TRUE sensation, unmatched by any other drink or food! Once you start taking Brain Pop, you won't want to eat or drink anything else, ever again!
(Please note: due to the sensitive nature of the brain some minor side effects may occur from taking Brain Pop - these are insignificant and are not damaging. These include:
- Becoming a minion of the
cabal - Becoming a minion of an
y otherorganisation(Cabal note - FIX THIS MALFUNCTION NOW!) - Transforming into a horrible gelatinous blob
- Your brain melting
- Your whole body melting
- Your head asplode
WashUrBrain Inc. cannot take any responsibility for your own actions under the influence of Brain Pop, nor do we offer refunds. We also request that even if you do not want to drink Brain Pop, you should still refrain from disruptive activities.)
