Bratz

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Bratz Is a modern version of Barbie, but it is much more chunkier. They each have a name and come with 'fashionable' clothes !

Motto: The girls with a passion for fashion!

Contents

[edit] Success

Seemingly harmless fashion-whored dolls, also available at Limited Too, Aeropostle, American Eagle, Abercrombie and Fitch, and Hollister.
Seemingly harmless fashion-whored dolls, also available at Limited Too, Aeropostle, American Eagle, Abercrombie and Fitch, and Hollister.
The modern image of the Bratz Dollz iz radically different from their original concept. They were known in the 1980z as 'Ballbusters', later becoming 'Ballbusterz'. They were created and endorsed by feminist psychobitch Hadie Strong, who proposed that men should be enslaved upon the day of their first erection. The ensemble consisted of:

Yasmin - based on Nobel Prize Winner Shirin Ebadi - special accessoriez: a non-oppressive Hijab head covering and optional Law Degree. (Named after the birth control pill.)

Chloe - originally to have been called N'drea after top feminist harridan Andrea Dwarkin - acessoriez to have included handgun and moustache trimmer. Hobbies included shoplifting and masturbation.

Jade - based on German Communist Rosa Luxemburg. Accessoriez including a copy of Das Kapital, and the catchphraze "Like, that'z Totally Stalin!!!".

Somehow, though, it didn't quite catch on, and the head of Mattel'z Salez and Other Shit department Roy Begniner decided to revitalise the Ballbusterz.

Their name was changed to the less offensive 'Bratz' and the decision was made to add a new character. Begniner gave eighteen writers twenty-four hourz in a locked room to decide who the new member would be. Due to the aid of Jack Bauer the writers were released to Begniner in twenty-minutes. Fumbling for an idea, the head writer blurted 'A black girl!' Begniner liked this, and the character of Sasha was created.

There is also a hit TV show based off of these dolls, with the usual poor excuse to show young children how 'teen' life is really like. In it, the Bratz prance around looking skanky and solve mysteries or some gay shit like that.


[edit] Awardz

- Family Fun's Toy of the Year Award was awarded, as all members of the family, most especially the fathers, all had fun with the dolls. Or the daughters in general.

- Bratz also got awarded UK Girl Toy of the Year, but only because British people are fucking crazy.


[edit] Rock Angelz

Rock Angelz is the first Bratz movie, based off of the real life adventures of the dolls, and their musical experience and tours. (The non-moving, non-sentient dolls.)

The movie begins when the girls try to form up together to create a death metal group, by influences of the most hardcore heavy metal bands like Simple Plan and Panic! At the Disco.

They went to London, when finding plane tickets on the bottom of beer bottles, and wrote some punk-rock, gothic, and death-filled songs, with the most hardcore lyrics
The metalcore-influenced first album of the Bratz Rock Angelz, the edited version. The explicit content version can be found on Ebay.
The metalcore-influenced first album of the Bratz Rock Angelz, the edited version. The explicit content version can be found on Ebay.
for inspiration to all little girls around the world. Their most hardcore song, also released on the matching metalcore CD was the song "So Good".

After meeting up with a new Bratz girl, Roxxi, Slayer, and Clifford the Big Red Badass Dog, they all went to a local London tattoo parlor, getting tattoos all over their bodies, even including their privates. Especially including their privates. They also got piercings all over as well, especially nipple piercings, then set off to a punk-rock club, hoping for fame, drugs, sex, and possibly rock and roll and money.

[edit] Genie Magicz

Genie Magicz is the second Bratz movie, completely thought up totally original and unique. It has no relevance to the Aladdin movie whatsoever, and is not at all a total rip-off of it. In fact, none of the genies look at all like Jasmine or transvestite versions of Genie from Aladin.

This completely original story takes place in Saudi Arabia, in an underground cellar, where the girls tell bedtime stories to each other, as they are hiding in a bomb shelter. They await their deaths by telling fairy tales to take their minds off their upcoming brutal deaths. Their imaginations get the best of them so much, they think they are genies.

Yasmin was promptly kicked out from the group during the making of the film, as she kept peppering the director, Ron Jeremy, with criticisms about how inaccurately he represented the Middle East.

[edit] Other Moviez

There are other Bratz movies, but no one actually gives enough of a shit to update and post everything about ALL Bratz movies. Neither does anyone give enough of a shit to read every single damn summary.


In 2005 The Bratz filed a lawsuit against britney spears for using there outfits in the video do somethin'. The next day lindsay lohan threw up.


In today's world, with all the smart people and so many role models to pick from one finds it an enigma as to why Bratz can so easily corrupt the minds of little girls and turn them into walking AIDS busses. Some speculations have come up, but the most popular are...

1) The management are stupid.

2) The children are stupid.

3) You're stupid.

4) ???

5) Profit!

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