Brian Viglione
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“Is this dude gayer than me or what?”
~ Oscar Wilde on Brian Viglione
“Fucking mime.”
~ Dr. Frank N Furter on Brian Viglione
“Fucking mime.”
~ Charlie Chaplin on Brian Viglione
“Fucking MINE!!!!”
~ Liberace on Brian Viglione
“Who?”
~ Trent Reznor on Brian Viglione
“Mike Jones.”
~ Oscar Wilde on Trent Reznor's quote on Brian Viglione
Contents |
[edit] The History of the World’s Oldest Profession
Before a spoken language existed, miming was used as the principle form of communication. With this knowledge in mind, the following assumptions can be made:
Miming = world’s oldest profession
Miming + Brian Viglione = world’s oldest professional
Brian Viglione > everyone else
[edit] Brian Viglione and the birth of The Dresden Dolls
Following his first viewing of the film The Rocky Horror Picture Show, Brian Viglione was born. Later he admits that he didn’t even like that movie, but rather enjoyed “…the incredibly sexy way Dr. Frank N Furter’s legs moved in fishnets.” Shortly after, he snuck into his mother’s closet and tried on his first silk and sheer negligee. The rest, they say, is history.
On Halloween night, 2000, Brian Viglione made what he considers to be the best mistake of his life when he accidentally took one Amanda Palmer for a circus monkey trained to play the piano. As he had a life-long and acute obsession with monkeys, likely brought on by, as a child, thinking he himself was a monkey due to his expansive, massive, face-covering, Cousin It-worthy eyebrows, he brought Amanda home, befriended her, and took to playing drums. Later, after discovering that she was a woman and not a troupe primate, he shrugged and decided that she was indeed safe to have sex with. The two later formed the band The Dresden Dolls.
[edit] Nine Inch Nails, Panic! at the Disco and similar thrusts into fame
In 2005 Trent Reznor, front, back- and side-man of Nine Inch Nails, got a package in the mail from a friend urging him to listen to the CD he’d sent, the self-titled album of The Dresden Dolls. Upon hearing it, Trent hired a hit man and had his friend murdered. In an after thought, he asked the Dolls to open for him. This is an example of Trent Reznor’s logic:
Dresden Dolls = load of win
NIN = godlike
Dresden Dolls + NIN = NIN even more godlike
After riding along a nice wave of Trent Reznor fame, Brian Viglione and his un-girlfriend Amanda decided to take their new found glory to the next level. They kicked off a tour with Panic! at the Disco. Brian especially enjoyed the amount of shit thrown at him onstage from Panic’s always open-minded fans.
