Bribe

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Bribing girls is good (except when you get an STD).
Bribing girls is good (except when you get an STD).

A bribe is when you give someone, usually an attractive woman, money to do nice things for you, usually sexual. If you give a guy money to do nice things for you, then you are gay, or a Republican.

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[edit] Early history of Bribery

Bribery began during the biblical times when Jesus gave Mary Magdalene money. Because of this, bribery is considered the oldest job in the world. Historians usually point out drug dealing has been around even longer, dating back to 2000 BC when people would sell drugs to dinosaurs. Scientists believe that the dinosaurs all died from cocaine, but the Bible explicitly says that the dinosaurs were killed with heroin. This point has continued to further the sad bridge of intolerance between science and religion. Currently, religion is winning.

[edit] Bribery in the late 1800s/early 1900s

President Roosevelt on the search for Jack the Ripper.  He's a true American hero!
President Roosevelt on the search for Jack the Ripper. He's a true American hero!

At this time, bribery was very common and a crazy man known as Jack the Ripper went around killing women that looked for bribes. Jack the Ripper was caught in 1902 by President Roosevelt, who also built the Statue of Liberty to honor Jack's defenseless victims. Unfortunately, the Statue of Liberty was destroyed during the terrorist attacks on 9/11. When Bill Clinton had hot sex with "your momma" a young child named Akersh fucked his ass open with a russian bill he received from a bribe.

[edit] Today

[edit] Bribery in the USA

Bribery is currently only legal in Las Vegas. There are theories that God will get pissed and destroy Las Vegas, like how he destroyed New Orleans for being the homosexual capital of the world, even though the French Quarter was the only section NOT to be severely damaged.

[edit] Bribery in Mexico

Bribery is legal in Mexico. In fact, cops will beat the shit out of you if you don't give them bribes. This will usually conclude with getting anal raped by Mexican police.

[edit] Bribery in EU

This is new termin on the European political scene since two new tribes entered the European family- Bulgaria and Romania.

[edit] Bribery in the future

Bribery is most likely going to be legal everywhere by 2010. The only people that are trying to keep it illegal are Al Queda, which is why Americans hate them so much. Unfortunately, famous scientists like Stephen Hawking, Paul Davies, and Tupac, are against bribery, this may also be why they have not had sex yet.

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