Bridge
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
- For other funny uses, see Bridge (disambiguation).
“Ive always wondered who funds the building of bridges... It has to be one massive twat who wants a faster way to get to Hull.”
~ Oscar Wilde on bridges
“You shall not pass!”
~ Gandalf on bridges
A very, very long time ago, two guys were wading across a rapid river (just like they did every day) when one of them got hit by a passing fish. Losing his balance, he got caught in the current and had to swim to shore. He recovered a quarter of a mile down the river.
His friend, looking on, decided that "something had to be done."
[edit] Creation
The one who made it across that day was named freak of the year (yes, the same one), and by the end of that year, 1502, he had perfected his model of the world's first bridge, or large apparatus designed for carrying any number of animals, people, or rocket ship parts across a river or other hard-to-traverse thing. Unfortunately, when he tried to apply the same principles to a full-scale construction he found that cardboard just wasn't enough to support people. It would be three long years and many nights spend drying off wet clothes before someone suggested to try it again with wood instead.
And so Thomas set out trying to build a girl out of wood and chewing gum.( the perv) With the help of three friends of his, it only took two weeks to build a bridge that spanned an three-foot-wide river. When they had finished it, they stared at their creation and demanded Thomas explain to them why they had wasted two weeks of their lives building something to cross a river they could cross on their own.
However, he grew old and he withered at his advanced age. Eventually his penis fell off. This articleis meant to be (vaguely) about bridges, but it's more like something written by Terry Wogan.
The creator of the bridge was the Arab Janitor, from the Twelfth Night poem by William Shakespeare, Sherif Hassan, who is currently attending a school in Auckland, New Zealand, working as a janitor.
--->DO THE BROWNSIE<---
[edit] Bridges in Minnesota
Sometimes bridges in Minnesota fall down. Then again sometimes crazy kids bring guns to schools and start firing randomly. Bridges suck. 'Specially the one that makes it easier to go to Wales.
| Strong Concept Needed This article's topic is significant enough to deserve a better treatment. If any inspiration comes bursting into your skull, go ahead and do something about it. |
