Brighton and Hove
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Brighton is situated just a few miles off of 'Jersey'. Many people may start a sentence with the words, "Do you remember that time in Brighton!?". Don't what ever you do answer them.....
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[edit] The Sights....The Sounds.....of Brighton
Brighton is a bourgois pleasure state masquerading as a Third World country. Just as the children in third world countries suffer distended bellies due to chronic malnourishment, so to the Brightonians exhibit signs of Chronic artiness and pretension, due in fact to chronic mental malnourishment. Brighton was invented many years ago by a "cheeky Aristocrats son!" called Roger Flaparse III. He was a bit bohemian and all that, a little bit Bi-sexy, appreciated arse..I mean art, and proved decidedly dull in the long term. All Brightonian culture is based ,hence forth, upon his example. Neptune god of the sea absolutley HATES Brighton, and for millennia has been attempting to erode away at it, via the shore line. A sort of floating circus, known to Brightonians as a pier, was erected against the sea gods advance. On the "pier", people have epic amounts of post-modern fun-time, as if to say, "My life isn't actually happening ha ha ha, nothings wrong ha ha ha, lah,lah,lah,lah, I can't hear you". A student at 'Brighton Polly Wants a Technic' studying "Popular-post-modern-pop-studies", is writing an essay, in order to get the 'bottom' (fnar) of it all.
[edit] Brighton & Hove Albinos
Brighton's football team is one based purely on the strategy of 'irony'. This puts them in a win-win situation. If they lose a match (a common occurance), then they always win on irony. If they win, then its just double ironic. Nietzche's last words were ,"When I invented moral relativism, I really didn't mean that!", whilst looking at a map of Great Britain, then lifting a crippled finger and placing it where Brighton is situated. There football team is hence completley relative.
[edit] Places to Visit
For Arty types:
There are many extensive cobbled streets, all paved with post-modernist irony, and a vast array of shops, all selling uniquely hand crafted bilge. It's a "happening" place For other residents:
- The saunas
- The toilets (to pick up a copper)
[edit] Brightons strange ability to recontexualise the meaning, and in turn, absorb the effects of terrorism
All terror networks are puzzled by Brighton, Osama Bin Laden going as far as to declare it, "Terror Proof". This is due to the fact that Brighton is in an advanced state of Baudrillardian Simulacra. Any terrorist events have always been responded to by the 'community' as 'fascinating happenings' in reference to situationalist art attacks. This has left terror networks scratching their turbans. Perhaps only Neptune, god of the sea, has any chance of overthrowing the Brightonian regime?
