Brit
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“We Irish love being called British!â€
~ Oscar Wilde on being a Brit
“Now genuinely free of Catholics!â€
~ Titus Oates on Brits
“We surrender!â€
~ The French on Brits
Brits are old Scandinavians who inhabit a small raft of the coast of Greenland. They are generally considered to be arrogant creatures apart from those who inhabit Britain's ever-less famous tumour known as Wales. However, the Welsh are unaware that they are British, let alone aware of their own existence.
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[edit] Food
Brits are famous for their food which consists of blood, maggots, blood and maggots, and a combination of both (usually blood and maggots in a blender). Since Brits love Indian food, the most commonly used blood is that of a Sepoy. Other British delicacies include dipping ammunition cartridges greased with pork fat in whisky. When whiskey is spelt with an "e" like the crazy Irish do, the food being dipped is preferably the heart of a Spaniard.
[edit] Military
The Brits are famous for its army which unlawfully invaded much of the less civilised world, their main tactic being taking over third world rural countries with an overpowering navy and ugly moustaches (read below). Surprisingly though, Britain's most affective weapon of choice is Thomas Hardy's moustache. It is believed that the moustache can wipe out an entire legion of roundheads with a single twitch. The moustache is most commonly credited in history books with defeating Hitler and the authorship of such treasured fables as Macbeth (under the pen name of Willy Shakes).
[edit] Government
The Brits currently do not have a properly functioning government. This is the primary reason that the Queen is confined to a zoo. However, some anthropologists have successfully ventured to the raft which occupies the Brits and discovered that the government system consists of a ceremony in which a pagan nobleman is elected magistrate of each plank of the raft. Women are not allowed to be elected magistrate, although some have been appointed to administrate the nails that hold the raft together. The elected body of magistrates to administer the planks is known as Parliament (a Gaelic word meaning "polygamy").
[edit] Economy
The Brits have a large economy. The majority of the economy consists of making keys. However, the Brits are currently in debt as they didn't think beforehand about making locks for the keys first. The rest of the economy is based on hunting and gathering. In a controversial act, the Parliament of the Brits legalised kitten huffing, but this was only due to the fact that the Brits didn't know what to do with the kittens they gathered from hunting.
Barmy British Stuff
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