Brody Dalle

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“Brody is an inspiration, an instigation and an abomination. She shines the light for the youth of today to follow. She taught us that the future is bright... the future is orange.”

~ Oscar Wilde on Brody Dalle

“Tap the bitch anyday.”

~ Shirley Manson on Brody

Brody Dalle, or as she is known by small children "AGH! Mummy, will that thing bite me?" is a legendary Turkish wine brewer, famous for adding her 'secret ingredient' to her home-distilled wines, to 'enhance the sweet aromatic scent of the wine,'and being 'Queen of all that is great and wonderful', according to a recent interview.

A Yugoslavian monk recently commented 'never in my life have I seen a wine that is made entirely of a white chalk-like powder... most interesting.'

The Police received a tip-off in 2001 and a half from an unknown figure that said the wine was in fact a bottle of Cocaine, though the absurdity of the suggestion meant the claim was dismissed, and bottles can still be purchased in ASDA, Tesco and the Early Learning Centre.

Brody's wine-making business is currently managed by Senor Juan Rodriguez, a Columbian billionaire who inherited his wealth from an unknown source. The 6 most intelligent world powers, namely the CIA, MI5 and Ron Weasley all agree that it was most likely a result of his Talc-Distribution Company.

1 Biography
2 Brody Dalle Facts
3 See Also

[edit] Biography

[edit] Birth

As quoted by Pikachu in episode 7 of the first series of Dragonball Z, "there is no evidence to suggest that Brody Dalle was ever born."

Scientists regularly hold violent disputes over the origin of Brody Dalle, which regularly holds back the progression of modern medicine. For example, the leading Scientist on the verge of discovering a cure for AIDs, known only as 'Thor', was reportedly thrown into a furnace for suggesting the issue was unimportant. Most Buddhists and some marsupials accept the theory that Brody Dalle was born of a moth in 400 BC, in the same way as fellow musicians Cliff Richard and Che Guevara. Although some theorists believe she was conceived through a fight between Vampira and Courtney Love this has been dismissed to be bollocks by Courtney Love who claimed that if she couldn't remember then she wasn't there. Most say she, for no apparent reason, ascended out of a mythical volcano in Melbourne, Fitzroy, Melbourne, Fitzroy, Melbourne [Australia] as a fully grown woman.

[edit] Life

Nobody knows how long Brody Dalle has actually been alive, considering she was born as an adult human and her age is not mentioned in the Qur'an.

The one definite fact about Brody Dalle is that she is the hottest woman ever to have set foot on planet earth. This has been confirmed by sex-gods Bruce Campbell and Mr. T.

Brody Dalle formed her band 'Ville Valo and The Llamas' in 1998 after setting up her successful wine business, though was forced to change the name to 'The Distillers' in 1999 when several people (including Winston Churchill) noticed that Ville Valo was not actually in the band.

Her band achieved several number ones throughout Europe and Euthenasia, including such hits as 'Robocop's Last Stand' and 'Yes, I am cooler than Courtney Love.'

[edit] Death

There are various claims that Brody Dalle died in a Peruvian Aquarium in 2010, though recent TV appearances and the fact that 2010 is yet to happen suggest otherwise.

[edit] Brody Dalle Facts

In 1997, according to one Chinese journalist, Brody reputedly 'gave up drugs,' though this is widely acclaimed as untrue, as the Chinese word 'gave' means 'snorted.'
Josh Homme from the band Queens of the Stoneage has the honour of being the only one great enough to concieve a child with her.
Brody's middle name is actually a Druid chant, used to raise both bread and an ancient Celtic demon, sadly both at the same time. Those who receive Brody's autograph are therefore gifted with thickly sliced rich loaves, until the next full moon, when they are consumed whole by the demon.
As Jesus said whilst being crucified, "thou shalt not covet they neighbour's ass." Brody wanted you to know this.
Brody is known to have thrown her younger cousins bicycle off a rather large hill....because her other cousins told her to...proving that even the greatest female musician of today caves to peer pressure