Bruce Forsyth
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“Nice to penetrate you, to penetrate you, nice”
~ Bruce Forsyth on talking dirty to his wife
“Isn't he dead yet?”
~ Oscar Wilde on Bruce Forsyth
“TV's last true professional.”
~ This Guy on Bruce Forsyth
Bruce Forsyth or to give his full name Bruce Forsyth was born in 1928 BC, making him slightly younger than fellow fossil Terry Wogan. You might have seen him on the telly. In fact, if you're a British subject and you've cared to glance at Sir John Logie Baird's fabulous invention any Saturday night in the last 50 years, you've almost certainly seen him wearing a tuxedo, a toupee and a smile. Despite being lauded as a TV professional, he simply does presenting work to fund his addiction to rich and expensive gravys and supermodels, several thousand years his junior . He came upon the idea of The Price Is Right during a midnight walk on hampstead heath by accident wishing to invent a new method of sieving. It didn’t work. He grants you three wishes if you stroke his chin and chant "nice to see you to see you nice!" sixteen times. He is married to a former Mr World.
[edit] Career
Bruce presents BBC series Sticky Cum Dancing and viewers often mistake him for a corpse which has led to over 15 billion complaints. In his online blog Bruce defends his appearance:
“Piss off and mind your own!”
~ Bruce Forsyth
Bruce currently resides in one of the many derelict warehouses off the coast of Wolverhampton. He is plotting to destroy religious icon Lovejoy and enslave mankind. Recent Sighting 14/07/06 - orbiting Neptune and having the occasional collision with the moon Triton home of the infamous Gordon Burns.
Bruce is married to his own face. He met said face when out horseriding in his country estate in Gaul. Despite several investigations from social services, government agencies and Cannon and Ball, he steadfastly refuses to accept that nightly "relations" with his own face are inappropriate for a variety entertainer. The authorities, and both of his his fans, responded by replicating Bruce's testicles in papier mache.
He is also know to people that hate him as Bruce Forskyn.
His Whore house is a studio set called [Play your cards right] where he molests girls and a young boy.
Here are some quotes by other stars on Bruce.
“He's really funny!”
“He's quite a young groovy guy a bit like me, he even has a A-pod.”
“He's a relation of mine you know.”
“I like the idea of Strictly come dancing all of it a part from Bruce's jokes.”
~ Tony Blair the first topic at the G8
“Good game good game!”
