Bruges

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“I don't have anything to say about Bruges. NOW LEAVE ME ALONE!”

~ Oscar Wilde on Bruges

Bruges is a very boring town in the very boring province West-Vlaanderen of the very boring country Belgium. Because of this, the author of this article may or may not have spiced things up a bit, by inserting very subtle exagerations and slightly twisted facts.

[edit] Geography

BRUGES IS ON TEH MOON!!... Wait, what?... I said slightly twisted facts...Ok, Bruges used to be near the sea, and we all know it will be near the sea again (with all that global warming going on) so just remember this: Bruges is near the sea. It will eventually become the Venice of Belgium, but that's not untill april 12, 2032, so just forget that for now. Bruges is a mere 44km from Ghent to the southeast and 145km from Brussels, and, it's just 385000km from the moon. The neighbouring villages are: Waffle Ville, Sprouttown, Tinkle Town, and New Seattle.

[edit] Tourism

The Sagrada Familia, an old building in Bruges.

We all like hot chicks, cold beer, cool nightclubs, etc. Bruges has none of that. Why do you think Dr. Evil (Bruges most famous inhabitant) became so evil? Not because he was having a good time in Bruges! Seriously, the only good thing Bruges has to offer is Brugse Zot, which means "The Bruges crazy man" and is a kind of beer. Needless to say, if you drink to much of it, you'll go crazy. So it isn't even that good. Apart from that, Bruges is all about small alleys, (perfect for robbing old ladies) old buildings such as the Sagrada Familia, (yawn) and Bruges' main export product: starch. (yawn again.)

[edit] Economy

As mentioned before, Bruges main export product is starch, and starch related products such as: starch porridge, starch and sprouts tv dinners, the tv show Husky and Starch, the tv show Starch and Starch, and furthermore, starch starch starch starch starch. In 2032 however, the main export product will become Ecstacy. Many labs throughout the town are already producing it, but the inhabitants of Bruges are waiting for the sea to come back so they can export the stuf by ship.

[edit] Dolphinarium

Bruges has a "seapark", which is called the Dolphinarium. This is not really a seapark though, it's actually a training facility for military dolphins. The dolphins there are trained to tip over ships with their snouts, do recon missions, and even to defuse seamines. Some inhabitants of Bruges say that genetic modification goes on there aswell, and that the Dolphinarium is creating flying dolphins. Wether this is to be attribuated to the halucinogenic properties of the "Brugse Zot" or not, is unsure at this point.