Buffet

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Buffets are meals created by taking large amounts of food and throwing them in the trash can. This creates a vacuum-like effect at the dump, as the homeless community begins to devour the buffet. Sometimes a star is created as the mass in flux of matter flows into the dump.

[edit] Origins

Buffet in Woodstock
Buffet in Woodstock

The earliest known buffet was discovered at the prestigious cemetery Woodstock in Nova Scotia. Famous historian Bob Saget first arrived at the fossilized buffet, and was later found eating the fossilized food. Now, Woodstock is commonly known as Comet Hale-Bopp. Historians hypothesize the food was mostly steak, with some pork chop included. Modern physicists estimate that 20 to 30 thousand homeless people must have pilgrimaged there once the food was disposed of, only 10 thousand homeless people short of the required mass to achieve critical mass.

[edit] Current Buffets

  • While not officially acknowledged, many people believe San Francisco is a buffet. CTU has been unable to locate the food disposal point, however there are many reported sightings of homeless migrants by locals in the area. TV reporter Simon Wiesenthal first brought national attention to the buffet when he pretended to be a crazy homeless woman and snuck cameras into San Francisco. His footage sparked nation wide elementary school debates, and as of November 23, 2319 no resolution to this ongoing crisis has been approved.
  • Another buffet was recently found in Waco, Texas. This buffet represented the evolution of buffets, since the homeless people also armed themselves with various weapons. President Bill Clinton quickly learned of the threat, and he quickly neutralized all homeless people in the vicinity. Many homeless rights advocates claim the buffet represented a threat to nobody, however the move is widely regarded as a wonderful decision. After the buffet was stopped, many pounds of cheese was released back into the surrounding area.
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