Bundaberg Rum

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For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Bundaberg Rum.

Bundaberg Rum is not a person...but isn't a drink either. Bundaberg Rum is more like a spiritual God who has super duper powers. Unfortunatly Bundaberg Rum died in a freak accident yesterday.

[edit] Creation

First created on 0000bc for the pure reason that once God had his own son, he decided to hit the bottle, and being 2000 years ago, there was only shit drinks invented, so God had to find someone with special powers who could create something perfect with the click of his fingers, but because it was Christmas day everyone was on holidays. God did not like that, so God got stressed and went on holidays to a little town in Queensland, Australia called Bundaberg. Whilst here he found a mansion called the 'Bundaberg Rum Distillery' but being Christmas day it was closed, but God had a plan, to plan was to sneak inside and steal the recipe, but breaking in caused security alarms to go off, thus alerting superman, batman, the hulk, the fantastic four, bluntman and chronic. But because of the long plane fight from America to Australia, and finding a taxi willing to take them all from Brisbane to Bundaberg, they all got a bit stressed after it all and ended up trying to steal drinks from the distellery, but being shut they had to make their own, and each superhero put a little bit of super duper power in it.

[edit] Powers

Bundaberg Rum has several powers:

• The power of courage: Bundaberg is infamous for giving the drinker a false sense of courage. Whilst taking on the polar bear, it is encouraged that the drinker does not go near the zoo or the north pole. In fact, it's just best to stay in your home. Befriend the polar bear.
• The power to fight: Drinking Bundaberg rum will increase your anger factor to the point of fighting amongst mates. Glasses hit the tables and floors. "Let's fight." It's a tad bit shocking but overall entertaining for all onlookers. Channel the anger that comes from Bundaberg rum into something distracting such as Wii Sports; play baseball, it's the best one.
• The power of depression: Bundy, for some unknown reason, incites negative self-introspection and negative self-reflections. You will continue to say that you are overweight. Even though you really aren't that bad.
• The power to streak- for some unknown reason, batman made rum so that you want to streak, scientists are lead to believe that is was because batman is hung well.

[edit] Bundaberg Rums Death

Unfortunatly on February 9th, 2008, a 17 year old man poured two shots out of his full bottle, then placed the bottle into his other hand, but failed to grip the bottle properly, the bottle fell to the tiled floor and shattered everywhere. Unfortunatly all of the Kings horses and all the Kings men, couldnt put Bundy back together again.

[edit] Bundy, Drink or Person??

All of the top lawyers have debated this case, but still no conclusion has been made. The debate can not be settled because although it can be drank, you can also talk to a bottle and get romantic with it (if thats what your into.)

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