Bus Driver Dave

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Dave is the generic name for those drivers working for the Stagecoach company. The first recruit they received was named Dave and he was eager to do what he could to promote this company. His idea was to multiply and before too long, Stagecoach had an army of Daves all chomping at the bit to drive their brand new Volvo Olympians. Of course, to keep the population going, these Daves found the sexiest girls they could on the bus and promptly seduced them and married them. This affair would usually start at the road along the golf course which was always a popular spot for drivers to have their "break". Now, 25 years on, a new young population of drivers are emerging from the bus depots and taking the nation by storm. For now they are simply known as "Sons of Dave" but will earn the right to become a real Dave when they have proven themselves on the road and other places.

Daves dress code is extremely strict. A navy blue jacket with a shirt and tie and the bus drivers trade mark black leather Hotpants. These can prove uncomfortable as many of these drivers are dangerously overweight.

However, these bus drivers have a great sense of humour and can sometimes be seen worshiping buses (most commonly the Optare Solo) and will do anything to make your journey more enjoyable.

Supplementary entries:

From Professor Joe Kerr, University of Avinyouen

As a student of linguistics, I find this an intriguing observation.

The previous entrant may not have known that in the 18th and 19th centuries, it was common practice in the U.K. for the Upper Classes to call their servants by a name other than the one with which they were born. As an example, a butler was often called “James” and a maid “Rose”. This served as continuity and meant that if staff needed to be replaced nobody had to remember a new name. I am of the opinion that this has happened with Stagecoach drivers and all can thus be addressed as “Dave”.

In Wales, Dave may be replaced by Dewi, Dafydd or Dai (Dewi bach = Little Dave) ; in Scotland – Davie and, as I have heard tell in the USA. – Davy! Yet in modern parlance, I have yet to hear of thecontraction to “Daz”.

Of course, all these are diminutives of David which is an ancient name with royal and biblical connections. King David is known to have driven a chariot, a forerunner of the modern omnibus. (Powered by a Goliath engine?)

A second premise is that the name “Dave” is simply an acronym for Diesel Automotive Vehicle Employee.

Interestingly, a recent encounter with a Stagecoach driver in rural Gloucestershire, in the UK appears to confirm the hypothesis.. “A friend tells me that all Stagecoach drivers are called Dave”, I said, “May I ask yours?” “Er Dave”, was the reply, although he had a Polish surname!

Extract from the Cotswold and District Gazette

Romany Gypsies are burned in their caravans when they die. Rumour has it that bus drivers called Dave are now cremated in their own vehicles, somewhere along the route they travelled on a daily basis.

On 1st April, 2006 The Cotswold and District Gazette reported that in the shell of a burned out Stagecoach ‘bus recently found in the woods surrounding Woodchester Mansion, close to the route from Nailsworth to Wotton-under-Edge, a metal box containing the following ballad was discovered amidst a pile of ash. It was perhaps penned as a tribute to all drivers called Dave, past, present and future.

A Dave from the Grave

My name is Dave and I’m a Stagecoach driver. I’m no snob, it’s a super job That other drivers sigh for. I drive all day And save my pay I’m not a nine ‘til fiver. Along the route My horn I’ll toot My life is one you’d die for.

My Dad is Dave, he also is a Stagecoach driver He’s one of us He loves his ‘bus It’s something he will die for. A lean machine He keeps it clean Perfection he will cry for.

His Dad was Dave, the original Stagecoach driver. He was quite a lad, he chased my Dad In races they would tie for. So little power Ten miles per hour Was all that they could try for.

My son is Dave, he too will be a Stagecoach driver. It’s in his blood This livlihood He will be no skiver. He’s no slob He will make a bob or two, perhaps a fiver. Girls he’ll seduce Whilst on the loose It’s something he’s not shy for.

I’m the ghost of Dave who used to be a Stagecoach driver. Route 007 I drive in Heaven It’s what I gave my life for. God lets me drive Like when alive It’s what I’m here on high for!