Bush fire
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
The Bush Fire is a bizarre and rare occurrence commonly associated with a young New Zealand males passage into adult hood. The ritual occurs in most circumstance after the consumption of a tinned hops-based alcoholic beverage, sometimes referred to as Beer, which gives the young male the belief that the gods will protect his manhood.
[edit] The Ritual
Pack mentality arouses the semi intoxicated males to to lower the hem of their trousers/shorts/skirts (On ladies night) to reveal the 'bush', the area cloaking the male appendage. Taking an instrument which disperses fire, the inductee will ignite the pubic region to cause flames to engulf his now somewhat retracted member, and go batshit insane.
[edit] By Products
The immediate effect of a self induced 'Bush Fire' is a pungent odour resembling that of a freshly desecrated pillow (see 'Bare bum farting' for more info). The vapour is thick and has the ability to adhere to ones clothing lasting days and in some cases weeks, or even months, or perhaps years, or possibly decades, or maybe centuries.
Suprisingly, the 'Bush Fire' vapour acts as an aphrodisiac for a certain breed of female (see slut) yet un fortunately for our now pornstar-esque young adolescent, his appendage may exhibit third degree burns and render him unable to get jiggy with it. These burns usually require medical assistance, yet the torment of a perplexed medical practitioner in most cases leaves the male youth feeble, limp and licking his wounds for some time.
Despite common misconception that the 'Bush Fire' is a dangerous trial, most 'Bush Fire' winners duley note that at most, participants only have to worry about decapitation and complete destruction.
[edit] Do's and Dont's of Bush Fire's
Do ensure that you or your intended victim has pubic hair. Continuing without this pre requisite may result in difficulty of igniting (see petrol)
Do seek prior approval. Attempting to light a non-believer's genital region may have certain negative ramifications for you, your face, or both.
Don't neglect the fire once it is lit. Like any activity involving heat and meat, it always pays to watch your project - as they say, "once you go black, you'll never go back".
