Buskers
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Buskers began life as humble, oridinary citizens, just like you, I or Gordon Ramsay.
So dedicated were they to their musical profession that they resorted to homelessness, performing in the city streets with their 12-inch vinyl players plugged into a socket at the back of a local electrical appliance shop. Normally, you'd think they don't need these, but you are forgetting these are talentless nobodies we're talking about here. They need something to mime along to with their guitar.
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[edit] Travelling
Some buskers quickly found that a method of transport was necessary to evade the furious clutches of the manager of Dixons along with their portable 'backing band': thus, scouting a suitable, cheap, tax-free alternative became a vital part of the profession.
And so, the donkey became a busker's best friend. Their ability hump around up to 20kgs of cigarettes and alcohol if pushed or 'merried up' with Carling was a major plus, as was the extra money gained from giving children rides on Blackpool beach.
According to the research of Pixar, donkeys were, at one point, fully articulate. As were cats. And green monsters walked the Earth. But that's beside the point. The donkeys began to give such abuse to their owners that the buskers had to come up with a plan to shut them up. The result of this was the side cart, which could easily be fashioned from 'appropriated' bike wheels, driftwood and car stereos. Interestingly, they never actually used the stereos, just stole them for a laugh. Anyway, the donkeys quickly shut up and, being a rather 'primitive' animal, forgot how to speak completely.
[edit] The 'next generation' of busker travel technology
A breakthrough in busking technology came soon after, with one bright spark discovering that a horse can move faster than a donkey. The only problem was having to steal them from farmers field, which quickly became a non-problem when they were enticed with 'sugar lumps', which DJs began to carry a suspiciously large amount of in their back pockets.
In fact, there are disused flats, lock-ups and garages literally packed full of sugar lumps all over the country, though these are beginning to dwindle in number. Local residents report spotting fat rats with rotted teeth and alert the police.
[edit] DJ Buskers
DJ buskers usually try and sell you their cruddy mixtapes and stuff.
This breed of busker requires a more sturdy and reliable method of transport due to their large amount of equipment. Fortunately, the DJ busker has yet to discover the wonder of modern society that is owning your own motor vehicle. Unfortunately, the public have to persevere with impromptu gigs breaking out on buses, trains and the back of golf buggies. Don't be surprised if, whilst going about a pleasant 18 holes, you encounter a wall of noise and shouts of 'techno, techno, techno... reee-wind' between the third and fourth greens.


