Butters Stotch
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 | This article is complete, irredeemable eel. The submitter is Bat Fuck Insane, and navigates at the clitoris. If you attempt to hear this, you will most disturbingly enumerate Bat Fuck Insane yourself. Or the submitter will agree your street sign!!!!!! |
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| Date of birth: | September 11th | |
| Place of birth: | South park | |
| Nationality: | Super Saiyan | |
| Occupation | Super Villian | |
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“I said what what in the butt.”
~ Butters on Gay People
“You... are breaking my balls...here.”
~ Butters on businessmen
“He killed Lemmiwinks!”
~ Butters on MR. Slave
“BUTTERS!! YOU SON OF A BITCH!!!”
~ Eric Cartman on Butters
Butters Stotch was one of the highest level Super Saiyans to ever land on the planet Earth. He also went to Venus for secret training this one time. Butters has joined forces with such greats as Bruce Campbell and Phoenix Wright in order to keep the world safe.
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[edit] Origins
As a child, Butters was abused by his parents, Chris (Steve) and Linda. It was through these lashings that Butters eventually discovered his gender, as the abuse somehow triggered his amazing powers. It was probably midi-chlorians or something. After getting revenge on his parents using his trademark move, the "Super Saiyan Wedgie"™, Butters realized he had to use his powers for one thing, and one thing only.
[edit] Butters as a Pokemon Trainer
Butters took his first step into bad Japanese clichés by training Pokémon. He used his amazing telekinetic abilities and just plain awesomeness to get all 493 Pokémon to Level 100. Then when he found out there would be new games that had more Pokémon, Butters got really pissed off. He teamed up with Mewtwo and a Squirtle to cause Hurricane Katrina. Butters was able to destroy the levee using his chaotic, destructive powers of tap dancing. Mewtwo decided he didn't like Butters and went to become the homosexual lover of the entire state of Vermont.
[edit] Butters and Goku
It was after Hurricane Katrina that Goku became aware of Butters. After having defeated Superman in the historic Battle of the Bulge, he realized that Superman was one of many people who suffered the fate of having their home planets destroyed, and being the only survivor. He found Butters and told him the truth: His true parents were killed by Snape along with Dumbledore on the planet Freddie Mercury, which no longer can support life thanks to Snape's evil efforts.
Butters realized he had to get revenge on Snape, so he trained with Goku for over 30 episodes to finally take him on. However, Butters failed to realize he'd be gone in a day or two. Snape was secretly going on vacation to Silicone Valley.
“IT'S OVER NINE-THOUSAAAAAAAAAAAND BAZIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILIIIIIIIIIIOOOOOOOOOOONS!!!”
~ Vegeta on on Butters Stotch's power
[edit] Butters's confrontation
Butters found Snape. However, Snape had better psychic powers than Butters (Snape was a level 90 and butters a level 63) and prepared for his arrival. Butters had to face down the AWESOM-O 4000, Snape's greatest creation. Butters ripped him in half using his incredible biceps that he secretly has. Butters confronted Snape once and for all. Snape, using his magic, took control of all the breast implants he could find, but silicone was no match for Butters Stotch. Butters charged his for about 37 episodes and then unleashed his Super Tapdance Finisher, flinging all the shoes he could at Snape. After finally defeating the vile wizard, Butters's quest was finished.
[edit] Butters = not a virgin
in "Cartman Sucks", butters penis was in cartmans mounth while he sleep and vice versa. that made him 0.000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000007000000000000000000000000000000000000000094% more gay... butters.
[edit] Media
Butters also had some side careers in Hollywood. First, he starred in his own talk show, "The Butters Show", which was produced by cartoonists Matt Stone and Trey Parker. Butters also served a short stint as a singer and released his hit single "The Butters Song". The song topped charts and a special edition duet featuring Weird Al was released. Despite now being the most popular tinsel town celebrity, Butters still manages to put his super saiyan powers to good use. In fact, Butters used the hit single "I've Got Some Apples" to anihilate every elf. Ever. Even Will Ferrell. And Butters killed Kurt Cobain (He dropped his shotgun and it went of blew out his brains out).Then he blamed Courtney Love
[edit] Butters today
Butters Stotch and Goku are today working on repairing the planet Freddy Mercury to what it once was. Butters would be able to do this easier on his own because he kicks more ass than Goku, but Butters is too much of a gentleman to say no to Goku's help. Butters occasionally returns to action to save the world when he is needed, having saved the lives of Chuck Norris and Phoenix Wright on multiple occasions. Butters is considering working in the fashion business after getting an amazing offer from Homestar Runner.
Butters continued to find rivalry in Eric Cartman until his death. Butters was key in orchestrating the regime's downfall, with help from Lance Falcon, who despite having a really gay name was really a superhero. Butters and Lance collaborated on taking down Eric Cartman from his seat of power. He used a time-travel machine he found on his adventures to go to all the screwy times that article on Cartman says he lived in and killed him in each and every one of them. Yes. That was Butters. He's just that fucking awesome. Besides him kiling Kurt Cobain. He made that mistake up by killing Zac Efron and The Jonas Brothers
