Cage match
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
A cage match is a lesbian mating ritual that determines who gets to be on top. Lesbian mating rituals are unique because of their brutality and the fact that lesbians cannot actually produce offspring (but do not tell this to the Lesbians, because everybody loves a good cage match!). The participants, or contestants, typically endure blood loss, dizziness, and fatigue to the point of not being able to stand up as a result of punching, kicking, sleeper-holds, spinning toe holds, figure fours, muff diving, and carpet munching that occur during the match.
Contents |
[edit] History
Evidence of cage matches are as early as lesbians. Many people have sought to cover up the fact that the first cave paintings depict cage matches. Historians would like people to believe the first cave paintings where used to keep track of property or to express religious beliefs, but actually the first cave paintings where graphic depictions of hot lesbian floor-play. This is much more similar to men tuning into watch hot girl-on-girl action on the Spice Channel, and less akin to intelligent expression.
[edit] Famous Cage Match Contestants
There a many famous lesbian couples who have entered cage matches to decide who got to be on top. Jesus vs. Mary Magdalene, George Washington vs. Martha Washington, Barbara Bush vs. Bea Arthur, Prince Charles vs. Princess Diana vs. Camilla Parker-Bowles, Bob Saget vs. John Ritter.
[edit] Modern Cage Matches
Today, many lesbians even charge admission so that people can see cage matches in person. In fact, cage matches have gotten very popular with rowdy young men, and low-class, middle-age men who love blowing their weekly paycheck on beer and hot lesbo action.
[edit] Recent Controversy
There has been some controversy lately in the world of cage matches as Janet Reno has given herself the title of "Inter-Gender Cage Match Lesbo Champion of the World" as a result of her inability to find anyone of either sex to step into a cage match with her. Many lesbians worry that this will encourage men to participate in cage matches. However, most men have agreed to stay out of cage matches as long as they are allowed to eat out at the "Y".
