California Adventure
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Disney's California Adventure is a powerful and popular empire of five states located in present day Anaheimatic, California. It is the newest member of the Mickey Mouse League (informally known as the Mickey Mouse Club or the Empire of the Mouse), a trading alliance of states and cities that maintains a global entertainment monopoly.
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[edit] Geography
Disney's California Adventure consists of five separate states, each of which maintains a distinct culture and set of customs:
- Sunshine Plaza, the Suni state
- Hollywood Pictures Backlot, the Holly state
- Golden State, the Goldie state
- a bug's land, the Buggy city-state
- Paradise Pier, the Paradiso state
Some experts also consider one more state, though this is disputed.
- Parking Lot, the Car Crash area.
The most prominent geographical features are two isolated monuments: Grizzly River Run, and California Screamin'. For this reason, early Polish explorers termed the area Big Mama's House 2 while Israeli immigrants during the twentieth century called Disney's California Adventure °山°, or Pride of Wahtehdausnee. Outside of these bounds, the other most prominent feature is a bay in the center of the capital state, serving as an anti-aircraft device. The device used to detonate nightly in 2001 until a tsunami destroyed the launch mechanism. It currently is being repaired by top men.
[edit] Politics
[edit] Organization
Each state of Disney's California Adventure selects members to serve at California Screamin', the capitol. Each state is allowed one representative, except for the Parking Lot territories of Car Crash, which does not get a chair. The current representatives are:
- Walton EuroDisney (Paradise Pier)
- Ernie (Golden State)
- Goofy (Sunshine Plaza) (who also serves on the Disneyland Grand Council)
- Tinker Bell (Hollywood Pictures Backlot)
- Flik (a bug's land)
This system follows the Disneyland Grand Council system, established for the Mickey Mouse League, the Haudenosaunee, and the Delos nation (a confederation of MedievalWorld, RomanWorld, and WestWorld).
[edit] History
Disney's California Adventure existed since medieval times, inhabited by natives of the land. It remained inhabited by the Dodo species until 1954, when the Disneyland Empire's expansion and push for annexation by the United States forced the Dodo out of the region. Instead, the Parking Lot territory was hastily taken over and established by the Bennett Buggy family. The Parking Lot territory was left to stand alone for about forty lightyears. It was during this time that the Parking Lot territories (the first Parking Lot territory reproduced asexually) got the now-commonly used name, the Car Crash areas. Legend has it that one dark June night, terrorist Don Al-Duck committed a suicide attack with his Ford Pinto, destroying a good portion of the original Parking Lot territories. However, this claim has never been validated, due to recent tapes of Don Al-Duck surfacing, with Don Al-Duck appearing alive and well. In 1997, the Parking Lot territories were officially annexed by the Disneyland Confederation, and the Mickey Mouse Alliance developed the current set up of Disney's California Adventure, with the exception of "a bug's land." Heimlich the Great, of the bugs, invaded Disney's California Adventure in 2003, establishing "a bug's land" inside the existing Golden State. The Mickey Mouse Alliance voted to allow this new state, which still exists today, represented by Flik on the Grand Council of Disney's California Adventure.
[edit] Modern Culture
Modern Culture in Disney's California Adventure varies greatly for each state within. In the early days of Parking Lot territory domination, there was no electricity, and no civilized life. Today, however, each state has its own unique customs, and culture. The ultimate adventure however is the only place on earth where humans are activley cloned
[edit] Sunshine Plaza
In the Sunshine Plaza, the Suni people worship a giant metal heap of space debris, rumored to be Walton EuroDisney's gift to the Suni people. The Suni people are generally kind, but reported to be very stingy. They often candidly take photos of unsuspecting tourists, then charge them over 100 Suni cents to take them home, with the threat of physical harm (such as feeding them to (Bertha Bear) if this request is not complied with. However, the Sunshine Plaza is the only avenue through which the rest of Disney's California Adventure may be explored.
[edit] Golden State
The Golden State bases its existence around a giant bear head in the center. Natives to the Golden State believe this to be the work of Cletus the Jack Hammer. Cletus is a folk hero to the Golden State, and often charms Golden State females in the Grizzly River Run bathroom. Another folk hero of the Golden State is Terrorist Kwong. In his natural habitat, Terrorist Kwong is a food fanatic, eating everything in sight, except humans. He is a hero of most Golden State-ians, proving that food is most beneficial. However, another folk legend in the Golden State is a real food monster. Small children in the Golden State are warned not to venture out after 2:35pm, which is when Bertha Rado goes on her hunger rampages, usually stopping at Ralphs after coming out of her cave. Bertha also used to smoke a Cigar Nickel (pronounced SAGAR NIKHIL or NIKHIL SAGAR), but dropped the habit when Bertha almost died of Indian food poisoning, as instead of using metal to make the Nickel, the toxic substance curry was used. It is believed that Terrorist Kwong was behind this murder attempt, though his associate Wag B. Meister at first claimed responsibility, but then disappeared before the Disney Grand Council could locate him. Meister is believed to currently reside somewhere between Santa Monica and Boston, Israel (located west of the Grand Duchy of Sweden... if you hit Romania, you've gone too far). Another theory as to the attempted murder of Bertha holds that the Hindu Pimp, unhappy that Bertha was driving away customers, sent his star performer, Colette Bickford McGreggorwilner O'Malleyfax-O'Brien-O'Timms Smithiggens Spongebob Mandrilpants, to murder the beast. Bickford, however, made the mistake of escaping to USC, where he/she/it was mauled by the Leinart-Bush-Osama terrorist group.
[edit] "a bug's land"
This was not an original state. It was established by Heimlich the Great as the result of a takeover of part of the Golden State. Cletus the Jack Hammer was seriously injured in this invasion, but the bugs insisted on a state of their own. They got their wish in 2003. However, it came with a curse named Bertha Rado. Bertha, nicknamed "Big Bertha," or "The Bear," habitats this area, feeding on small children (and bugs) who venture out after 2:35pm, which is when she leaves her cave. The only known deterrents to Bertha are Winnie the Poofter and Harry Hudnut the Salamander.
[edit] Paradise Pier
Paradise Pier is the capital of Disney's California Adventure. California Screamin' serves as the capital building, while another heap of space debris (another sun) sits in the middle of the Screamin' structure. The Pier natives, unlike the Sunis, however, believe this not to be a gift from the heavens, but rather a curse which forces them to listen to synthesized Beach Boys music all day. Three reported deaths have been reported as a result of this music, including that of the already-injured Colette Bickford McGreggorwilner O'Malleyfax-O'Brien-O'Timms Smithiggens Spongebob Mandrilpants. No one, not even Walton EuroDisney, president of Paradise Pier, knows where this music comes from, or more importantly, how it was made, and how to turn it off for good. It is believed that the terrorist Don Al-Duck is behind this, along with his henchman, Hewey Hussein.
[edit] Trivia
In 2002, during the Anaheim Angel's World Series run, California Adventure was painted red. However, this dismayed the Disneyland Grand Council, who thought that the red portrayed DCA as a communist member of the alliance. A civil war ensued, during which Cynthia Harris was captured by DCA and sent to work for the GAP as punishment. Her lover, Paul Pressler, pretended to get lost, and mysteriously materialized at GAP as well (it is believed, however, that Paul's ghost occasionally haunts the Twilight Zone Tower of Terror. One can scare him off, though, with a can of Whoopass. In 2003, a Canindian dropped a hockey puck in the California Screamin' capital building. What followed is from witness account only. The puck exploded and out came an angry Colorado Avalanche team. Bertha Rado saw ColoRADO and fell in love, driving out the Avalanche. This is the only instance in which Bertha was believed to be helpful. In an interview with ESPN Sports Net, Bertha was quoted as saying, "gUgh-mphh" before devouring a young child, Bertha's favorite treat.
