Carmen Electra

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Carmen Electra after moulting her winter plumage. Currently 59,589 people have pleasured themselves while looking at this, wait, 59,590
Carmen Electra after moulting her winter plumage. Currently 59,589 people have pleasured themselves while looking at this, wait, 59,590

In Soviet Russia, Carmen Electra masturbates to YOU!!

~ Russian reversal on Carmen Electra

She is so... D'oh!

~ Homer Simpson on Carmen Electra

Come to my party in Melbourne.

~ Corey Delaney on inviting Carmen Electra to his New Year's Eve 2008 party in Sydney.
For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Carmen Electra.

Carmen Electra is listed in the Guinness Book of World Records for her Coca-Cola consumption - a record -8 cans a day for the past fifteen years. Ben Cousins had been supplying her all the cans. Her teeth are currently being studied because they're so damn white. She is also on the list of 50 ways to kill a person because she is so damn sexy. She needs a spankin'!! On that note we can recognize that she also has one of the finest rears of all time, or at least this week. She has let me bang her a few hundred times.

Enough said Homer.
Enough said Homer.

She is also know for her lengthy marriage to Manute Bol, the world's tallest midget. The two will celebrate their fiftieth wedding anniversary in 2007. She has also been married to many other men while still being married to Maunte Bol, her current 2nd husband is Dave Navarro, who she will hopefully divorce soon. Previous marriages include Dennis Roddman, Mike Muir, SpongeBob SquarePants, Parabox, RACDK, and pretty much every ugly guy you can think of, as Electra is hella hot. Even Ben Cousins agrees.

As of 21st August 2007, Carmen has taken over from Susan Sarandon as the the most wanked off female celebrity in the world. She stands at a prime rate of 45 million wanks per day (gross world capita). Well you're not going to look at your wife are you?

[edit] Early Life and Career

Carmen was born in the quaint New England town of Stolz in 1972 to Johan and Gertrude Electra. Johan was the town idiot and Carmen was bullied by all her classmates as a result of this. Vowing vengeance on those who had made her childhood such a misery, she decided to transform herself into the ultimate woman so as to steal all of the other girl's boyfriends. Having accomplished the task, she thrilled in taking revenge on her former foes as one by one each of their boyfriend's fell in love with her. (She even got some of the girlfriends of the guys that were making fun of her.) that were making fun of her.) In 1992, she left Stolz for good and travelled to Los Angeles to start a career in showbusiness. She starred in a number of low-budget slasher flicks before landing the role that made her famous - that of Dr. Linda Lovecock in the 1995 Batman movie "Batman Never Ever". She continued making movies throughout the late 90s before branching out into pornography in the early 2000s. She is ranked as a Level 1 Vixen on the Wank Scale and enjoys huge popularity among teenage boys.

Electra's greatest competition in being sexy, Jessica Alba.
Electra's greatest competition in being sexy, Jessica Alba.

[edit] First Human Sex With Monkey

 
Carmen Electra with a shaved monkey
Carmen Electra with a shaved monkey

Carmen Electra is best known for being the first human ever to have sex with a Monkey. The monkeys name of course was Dave Navarro. Some claim that you were the first ever to have sex with a monkey but scientific study has proven that her sex with chimpanzees does not count because chimpanzees are apes.

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