Carndonagh
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| |
| County | Co. Donegal |
| Population | 19 |
| Ethnic Groups | Irish, Culchies, |
Carndonagh is a town on the Inishowen peninsula in County Donegal, Republic of Ireland.
Contents |
[edit] History
Nestled between Inishowen's rugged mammaries, Carndonagh lies inconspiciously on the plains of the peninsula. Popular belief suggests that the town's name originates from 'Carn' meaning Rock, and 'Domhnach' meaning Sunday. However, this is a myth peddled by the clergy, who to this day guard the true origins with disproportionate ferocity.
While it is true that Carndonagh literally means Sunday Rock, in truth it pertains to a music festival organized by Patrick St. Funk. The party is said to have lasted six days, with the revellers resting on the seventh. Amoung the headliners at the concert were, St. Bridget and the Banshees, Big Willie and the Hand Shandies, and Mickey Joe Van Halen. The latter being a distant ancestor of Eddie, whose rider included such outrageous demands as, there were to be no black faced horned ewe lambs in his after-show 'pleasure flock'. Not only is it such hedonistic shennanigans that the church object to, but also the vast amount of drugs available in the Churchland Quarters area of the town at the time.
[edit] Business
Although Carndonagh is now a thriving little town, this wasn't always the case. In living memory shops were few and products were fewer. Shops used to named after the items they sold. For example - B&M - Bananas and Muck, B&K - Bricks and Kettles (an annual 'Kettle Show' is held where locals display the quality of their kettles, cover themselves in homemade jam and wrestle for the coveted title of 'Bastard') and, more recently, G&S - Grapes and Shovels. The modern day CO-OP was bourne out of a kissing booth set up in the late seventies by Coleman and Ophelia McLaughlin. The Courthouse was originally a brothel where farmers would go for a court after a long day at the mart, thus explaining where Pound Street got it's name.
One of the town's many claims to fame is that the modern country of Pakistan was actually founded by a Carndonagh resident called Patrick Stanley Doherty. Being a Doherty in Carndonagh meant that Patrick was more widely known by his nickname "Packy Stan".
[edit] Facts
It is little known that Carndonagh is the birthplace of surfing. Originally known as 'Turfing', locals would wait for a suitable deluge, then lay their wife face down, get a good grip on her ears and surf across the 'Black Sea'.This activity was halted in the early sixties due to concerns of cruelty, when it was discovered that the hill, rather than being an inanimate mass of peat, was in fact, a giant living organism with feelings, much like the coral reefs of Australia.
[edit] Sights
The centrepiece of the town is 'The Diamond' despite the fact that it's actully a triangle. It was renamed 'The Diamond', after a petition by the townsfolk in a two fingers up to the Two Dimensional Cartesian Geometry that was popular at the time. The locals felt they could not rest until the obvious contradictions to the reduction principles of the Poincare Conjecture suggested by the old name, were resolved. The Donagh Cross is another popular fortification with visitors. Although it's past is shrouded in mystery, it is now commonly accepted that it was erected by Romans so they had somewhere to hang their hats after a hard day's raping and pilliging. Carndonagh is a popular destination of those interested in the paranormal and the occult. This is mainly because of two particularly strange anomilies. Firstly, the Ballyliffen Road which actually goes to Carn. And secondly, the beast of Woodtop. An oft spotted entity which can be seen late at night, if it's misty, wearing the jacket of Joey Dunlop. Rays place, another well known sight many people talk about this place but not manys been.
[edit] Media
Carndonagh has been the location for many popular films.
Molly's Brae Cop - A tale of a local guard who infiltrates an illegal dung smuggling ring.
Murder on the Lough Swilly Express - The moving story of a youth who lost his life when he said 'WAAA' to an armed culchie.
Deliverence - The uplifting story of a local postman who manages to deliver a letter with a name but no address.
Charlie and the Shirt Factory - A story about the difficulties of operating a shirt factory during the much publicised starch shortage. Flopped at the box office.
Last of the McGettigans - There's only one left. Will he remember the words?
The Sperminator - Emotionally charged recount of the trials and tribulations of the local A.I. man. Based on a true story.
Last Tango In Parish - A video of the last Pioneer Social held in The Colgan Hall before it's renovation.
