Carry On Films
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“I was offered Kenneth Williams' part, but I had to decline as I felt it beneath me.”
~ Noel Coward on Carry On Carrying On
The Carry On Films were a long-running series of British high brow period drama films, running from the mid 1950s to the early 1990s. With a number of leading lights of the English theatre including Kenneth Williams, Sid James and Richard Burton, the Carry On series is still viewed as the creme de la creme of the British film industry winning in total 17 Oscars.
The expression "Carry On Film" has made its way into common parlance, to denote a particular genre of film rather than the actual production company or series. The heyday of this genre was the 1960s and 1970s. A typical "Carry On Film" would be a period piece set in the early 20th century, usually in Edwardian England, featuring lavish sets and top British actors portraying genteel characters who suffer from disillusion and tragic entanglements. In 1970, in an attempt to be post-modern, the film Carry On Film, a film about the making of a Carry On film was filmed.
One of the series' trademarks was the humourous and often innuendo-laden names of many of the characters, e.g: Doctor Ars Bandeet, Hefty Bangshunt, and Willie Wanders. The films were the brainchild of Producer Peter Rogers, himself the owner of a "Carry On name".
Towards the end of the 1970's the Carry Ons moved onto the small screen with the Emmy award-winning television series Carry On Television. There was also a stage show: Carry On Stage Show.
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[edit] The Films
- Carry On Brokeback Mountain: (1965) Kenneth Williams and Charles Hawtrey play a pair of cowboys who grow closer as they try and fail to rob the bank in a town ruled by lecherous, loveable sheriff Sid James. A potential intimate moment in their tent is foiled when Williams throws Hawtrey out just as they start to get it on and gives him a vicious write-up in his diary instead.
- Carry On Guess Who's Coming To Dinner?: (1966) Set in Botswana, The gang deal with the sensitive subject of race as educated African Percy Zimbabwe-Rhodesia (Bernard Bresslaw in blackface) arrives for dinner at the Bloomsbury home of his new girlfriend's (Barbara Windsor) uptight parents (Kenneth Williams and Joan Simms). Meanwhile, loveable ex-blackshirt Sid Suid Afrika (Sid James) intends to get his hands on one of "our women" before him! The first 'colour' film of the series and the first to feature Barbara Windsor's knockers.
- Carry On James Bond: (1967) This spoof of James Bond spy thrillers was the last Carry On film made in black-and-white, and starred Kenneth Williams as Desmond Simpkins, an incompetent and impotent secret agent attempting to foil Albanian crimelord Dr. Badguy and his henchmen. It was later spoofed in Spy Movie.
- Carry On Up The Bunghole: (1968) Its the 19th Century tale of adventurers probing the dark interior of the South American Forests. Barbara Windsor gets her knockers out.
- Carry On Cromwell: (1968) King Charles has been executed and it's a sexual free-for-all in the saucy English Commonwealth as the Lord Erector Oliver Cromwell (Sid James) tries to get it on with a comely wench (Babs Windsor) whilst avoiding the unwanted pious attentions of Puritan vicar Kenneth Williams and his son Richard Cromwell (Charles Hawtrey) who keeps coming into the bedroom at awkward moments. Guest-starring Benny Hill as General George Monck.
- Carry On Film: (1970) Carry On attempt at post-modernity by making a Carry On film about making a Carry On film. Barbara Windsor featured, as did her by-now rather saggy knockers.
- Carrion: (1971) Perhaps the team's least-successful film, this one was full of jokes so long-dead they were actually in an advanced state of decay. Barbara Windsor gets her knockers out.
- Carry On Cruising: {1972} 1970s English Country life set in the pictureseque parklands of Hampstead Heath. Guest appearance by Peter Wyngarde. Originally scripted as a non-Carry On film called Insert Member In The Hole In The Wall In Cubicle Number 4 Barbara Windsor gets her knockers out to no effect.
- Carry On Pretending Barbara Windsor Has Enormous Knockers Even Though She Actually Hasn't: (1972) One of the most popular of the films, but only because proper porn was impossible to get hold of in the UK at the time. Barbara gets just one knocker out as a protest.
- Carry On Penis: (1974) One of the sauciest in the series as Kenneth Williams plays an 18th century London hardman sent to the countryside to deal with the elusive highwayman (played by Sid James) known as the "Huge Penis" due to his enormous penis. In a shock twist, Barbara Windsor gets her knockers out. Released in America as Carry On Shagging, and spoofed in Date Movie and again in Spy Movie 2.
- Carry On Luggage: (1975) Considered by many Carry On fans as the film that represents the true high water point of the series and the last to feature all the classic cast. The plot revolves around a routine baggage inspection at Heathrow Airport with the team debating whether or not to charge a customer an extra £2 for the excess weight. Hilarity ensues.
- Carry On Laughing At Kenneth Williams Even Though He Was A Twat And Not In The Slightest Bit Funny: (1979) The final film with most of the traditional cast featuring the original writing team of Armitage and Muffler was marred by a script filled with bitter personal attacks on members of the cast. Again.
- Carry On Up the Rectum: (1980) A spoof of Hospital dramas and yet another botched attempt to make a Carry On Again Nurse. This time, it stars Frankie Howerd the Duck as a stuck-up patient, with Sid James spending half the film fondling the nurses.
- Carry On Alf Garnett: (1983) Hilarious film rendition taking an in-depth look at cultural attitudes towards "darkies" and "poofters" in the mid seventies with interspersed Thatcherite jibes at the prevailing political attitudes of the time. Warren Mitchell reprises his TV role, with Kenneth Williams as interfering councillor Larry Limpwrist and Derek Griffiths as "'im next door". Released in America as Carry On UK, and spoofed in Date Movie 3.
- Carry On Whose Fucking Stupid Idea Was This, Columbus?: (1992) Jim Dale is almost Christopher Columbus. Julian Clary takes it like a man. The Traditional cast are glad they're all dead.
- Carry On Ethnic Cleansing: (1994) Ratko Mladic (Bernard Bresslaw) is a young Captain in the Serbian army who feels like his career has stalled; until an unexpected posting to the village of Srebrenica gives him the opportunity to impress his superiors - and maybe win the love of Serb beauty Anna Buttfuckic (Barbara Windsor) at the same time. But hilarity ensues as he attempts to bury all the bodies before the UN arrive... Also starring Sid James as Slobodan Milosevic, Hattie Jacques as Maja Mingeic and Kenneth Williams as Bill Clinton.
- Carry On Curry: (2002) There's Empirical fun to be had as Bernard Cribbins leads the onslaught as Duke Mountbattenburg, the heroic General in charge of taking over a small continent in Asia under the command of Queen Victoria (Joan Sims) and featuring the only starring role to date of that little Indian fellow from Mind Your Language and It 'aint 'arf Mother's do 'ave 'em as Lord Loveaduck, commander in chief of the British Army. (This part was notable for being the first ever performed by an Indian actor in whiteface.) Film was banned in parts of Delhi.
- Carry On Carry On As If Nothing Really Matters (2005) Kenneth Williams in his Oscar winning role as Queenie frontman Freddie Mercury and his attempts to write Bohemian Rhapsody 2. Barbara Windsor is clog wearing guitarist Brian Might and Bernard Bresslaw plays zany rock DJ Kenny Everard. Sid James died just before post production.
- Carry On Golden Pond (2083) A departure for the Carry On team as they deal with the subject of old people having sex. Hattie Jacques' final appearance as Matron in a Carry On.
- Carry On Ripping (2090) Frankie Howerd takes the starring role as the mysterious Royal Physician 'Sir Maybrick Tavistock',a respected professional by day, but murderous serial-killer of whores by night. Following the brutal butchering of Marie Kelly (Joan Sims), Tavistock is contemplating putting away his surgical bag and cape for good and retiring from the serial-killer business. However, Tavistocks treacherous assistant, 'Dr Nookie' (Jim Dale) discovers that his employer is none other than Jack the Ripper. Dr Nookie blackmails Tavistock into ridding him of troublesome prostitute Elsie 'Clay-Pipe' Hawkins (Barbara Windsor). Tavistock, with no alternative, complies to the blackmailers demands, but falls in love with Elsie... with hilarious consequences! This was the only Carry On film to be released as a musical, with a score and songs written by Tony Hatch.
[edit] Unmade Carry On Films
Several Carry On scripts were written over the years, but discarded due to most of the original cast dropping like flies.
- Carry On Slimming: This 1962 script featured series regular Hattie Jacques rapidly losing weight due to a combination of anorexia and a starvation diet. In the end, the script was pulled due to Jacques' refusal to cut out the cream buns.
- Carry On Cancer
- Carry On Thatcher: Thatcher, played by Joan Simms, sticks one up the Miners, with Sid James. portraying Arthur Scargill.
- Carry On Car Crash: A beautiful dramatisation of Princess Diana's journey from one side of the dashboard to the other and back again. The script called for Barbara Windsor to play Diana but her face was not smashed up enough.
- Carry On Osama
- Carry On Air/Sea Rescue
- Carry On Wanking
- Carry On Vorderman
- Carry On Binge-Drinking
- Carry On Texting
- Carry On Up the Tigris
- Carry On Re-incarnating
- Carry On George Best
- Carry On Wayward Son
- Carry On Clit
[edit] Recurring Cast Members
[edit] Sid James
Born in South Africa, back before the natives took over, Sid James is famous for the wise-cracking, sly, lecherous cockney characters that he has portrayed throughout his film career. A trained and accomplished pianist, Sid also developed skills as a dancer (jazz, flamenco, ballet) and had excellent language skills. His fellow cast members would often be amazed at the speed in which he could get into character, always with an eye on the finer details.
Amongst his most memorable roles are Sidnius Maximus, the wise-cracking, sly, lecherous cockney Roman Emperor; Sydney Longpike, sly, lecherous, wise-cracking cockney Sid Warlord; and Sidney Wedbetter, a lecherous, wise-cracking, sly, cockney mental patient in Carry On Malpracticing.
[edit] Kenneth Williams
Despite many years suffering from trouble with the bum, and an unfortunate flared nostril condition, the young Kenneth Williams managed to overcome his disabilities to establish himself as one of the leading thespians of his generation. In a 1958 London Times review of A Midsummer Nights Dream, Sir John Gielgud described the young Williams' Bottom as "the most memorable I have ever seen".
His Hamlet was considered by his peers to be so well defined that by the early 1960s he had become one of the leading lights of the Royal National Theatre and could regularly be found cavorting with Ralph Richardson and Laurence Olivier at the Old Vic.
[edit] Hattie Jacques
Has huge knockers.
[edit] Barbara "Babs" Windsor
Despite appearences, Babs is actually 6 feet 8 inches tall in real life. In the 1977 film, Carry On Making Them Despite A Noticeable Drop In Standards Following Sid James' Death, Bernard Bresslaw, the large actor who played Chewbacca in Star Wars actually played their scenes together while standing on a milk crate in order to match Miss Windsor's height.
In 1994, Babs joined the cast of BBCtv's Albert Square as market stall holder Jonathan Ross' mum in a role she still plays today. In 2007, she was voted as Britain's National Treasure, knocking the previous year's winner Christopher Lillicrap into 12th place. 2008 will see her in a cameo as herself in the tv drama Barbara Windsor Gets Her Knockers Out
[edit] Charles "Ooh Goodbye!" Hawtrey
Born in Paris in 1888, Charles Hawtrey first came to prominence promoting a rapid weight loss drink. Weighing in at 25 stone at age 12, he died in 1977 hitting the scales at only 14 ounces. The drink a success, he went on to star in all but 22 of the Carry Ons most notably Carry On Cottaging in 1969, although on several occasions during his career, his body snapped in two, once famously during the shooting of a love scene between Barbara Windsor's knockers in Carry On Whipping. These outtakes are widely available on YouTube.
A success on screen, his personal life was a disaster. Although to the public, he presented the image of an effeminate man with the emphasis on camp, in reality he was a rampant heterosexual family man. Imprisoned in 1950 for bigamy, Charles fathered 34 children with 100 more coming to light after his death. He had 2 granchildren. His one attempt to play serious drama fell flat in 1979 due to a BBC strike.
His most famous Carry On role was as the crusty old military man Corporal Cock in Carry On Up the Rectum.
[edit] Joan Sims
Played 'Joan' in Carry On Whipping, 'Joan' in Carry On Cromwell, before being nominated for a BAFTA award in 1981 for her role as 'Joan' in Carry On Up the Rectum. Her most famous appearance in the series was in Carry On Ethnic Cleansing playing the pivotal role of 'Joan'.
[edit] Richard Briers
Played the pivotal role in several Carry on films, 'Dr Willy' in Carry on Cumming, 'Mr Martin' in Carry On Ever Decreasing Circles, 'Felicity' in Carry On The Good Life, and 'Peter Sutcliffe' in Carry On Ripping.
[edit] Character Names
- Dr Ars Bandeet
- Muff Gently
- Corporal T Rousers-Down
- Senip Gib
- Sir Sidney Ruff-Cock
- Kenneth Bastard
- Bitch Cassidy and Kid Fiddler
- W.Otto Whopper
- Rubby Pullback
- Slippy Up-Her
- Sidney Moneyshot
- Selina Swallow
- Marlene Meat-rim
- Captain Sniffer
- Lawrence Longpole
- Belinda Breasts
- Vera Gina
- Harry Hardshaft
- Archduke Anus
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