Cathode Ray Tube

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The Cathode Ray Tube was invented by early Catholics in an effort to improve their plumbing. For decades they had been using the Cathode Ray Bucket, but the smell was awful, and in these modern days was starting to put people off going to church. Many new toilet ideas were tried: the Cathode Ray Hole, the Cathode Ray Bush and finally even the Cathode Ray Going-and-burying-it-somewhere. None were particularly effective, and so the Catholics eventually reverted to a common invention -- the Toilet.

Refusing to dispose of their waste using a TOTALLY atheist method, they attempted to create their own plumbing, and finally invented the Cathode Ray Tube.

The Cathode Ray Tube is a clear plastic tube, holding in the smell, whilst allowing Catholic plumbers to watch the faeces and urine flow out of the church and into the ground. The tube's transparency was also useful in locating blockages.

[edit] Success

The Cathode Ray Tube became an instant success and was bought by everyone who had ever had a blocked drain. The Catholic priests, quick to pick up on its success, began to rake it in. Catholics all over the world were rich beyond their wildest dreams, and only a minority thought of charities at that point. Strippers and hookers lined the walls of the Catholic churches, as the priests took instant advantage of their good fortune; the Catholic Church was more corrupt than EVER before. Before long, the priests themselves stopped coming to church and spent their money lavishly, and the Catholic institution was nearing collapse. It was predicted that soon there would soon be a Cathode Ray Tube in every home.

[edit] The Plumbers revolt of 1955

The amazing success of the Cathode Ray Tube, and the fact that they made plumbing easy enough for home owners to do, meant that the professional plumbers were now facing ruin. Plumbers everywhere took to the streets and vandalised whatever they could get their hands on, including some rather bewildered people. Before sunrise the following day, the major towns around the world were laid to waste.

[edit] The Solution to the Cathode Ray Tube

The government, were quick to come up with a new invention , the plasma pipe, which looked cool, and was much more compact (which made them block easier than ever before) and sold them at twice the price of the Cathode Ray Tube. The natural gullibility of the general public meant that they instantly assumed that:

• A: Newer = Better, and
• B: That more expensive = Better.

So before long, the Catholics money well dried up, and they slowly and ashamedly returned to their churches, and that now all the drains in the world were now so complicated that only a professionally trained plumber could fix the increasing numbers of blockages, so order was restored to the world at large.

[edit] The reason for the persistent use of the word “Ray”

Pope Ray III (the inventor of Purgatory) made so much money for the Catholic Church, that he insisted that from then on, his name should pop up in all catholic developments, for example: the most successful Catholic-made computer game to date was named “Ray-man” in his honour.