Cats with guns
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title-leftCats with guns
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[edit] Overall summary
Cats with guns are a growing problem in the USA. They are being fed too much junkie cat food most of which is made out of shrooms. The agencies in the US government decided to ignore this item completely, mainly because most solutions to world problems involve killing 100 million people, and seriously, cats with guns is just a friggen brilliant idea for they are really responsible for Columbine's secret trench coat mafia founders and were really responsible for using guns against fuckin insane ugly old women.
[edit] Famous assassins of the cat world
- Mr Paws : killed Joan of Arc
- Mr Biggles-worth : attempted to assassinate Sir Austin Powers
- Tom : killed Jerry
- Felix : killed Producer for making him black and white and making owner be rude about him on TV.
- Toonces: killed Benazir Bhutto with his cliffdriving escapades
- Phattycatty : killed owner for naming him phattycatty.
- Fat Freddie's cat : killed fat Freddie for making him look foolish in many a cartoon strip.
- KG Joe's cat : killed KC Joe for zipping him up in a punch bag in sluggers gym and leaving him in there to get punched by everyone for peeing on the carpet.
- Snowball I : committed suicide after shooting half of the city of Springfield.
- Snowball II : shot Mr Burns for attempting to steal Maggie Simpson's lolly pop.
and finally Hitlers cat:
- Kitler was the leader of the cats with guns and murdered millions of creatures worldwide and if you look in the cat lazer photo you'll see him there fighting George Dubya Boosh's cat
- Lee Harvey Catwald assassinated JFK
- Jackson Leist
[edit] History of cats with guns
Cats with guns originated with Robin Hoods American pet cats great grand children with bows and arrows in the Wild West against the Cowboys. The next recorded viewing in Victorian times when they had a mass riffle shooting and killed Jack the Ripper unfortunately none of them were caughtNeither this or the cowboy incident are related to the dodgy cat food because the Americans hated cats at that time so therefore they would not have fed them, we do not know what caused them but scientists are slaving away in a hot laboratory at this moment trying to figure it out.
there have been countless more attacks over the years to many to be listed but as you can probably see it is all the Americans fault even though it started of with English cats.
Today there is a dangerous organisation called the kung-fu cats(KFC for short), They don't just use guns but also are trained in un-armed combat and stealth to the same degree as ninjas. Thier headquarters and numbers are unknown, but we do know one's about to stab you with a poison blade all covered in fur! Either that or it's just a tail, wait a sec so I can examine it through my peep hole... false alarm it's a tail.




