Catspace

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Tis' a magical place, where all of your wildest dreams can come true... Unless said dream involves three naked women in a bowl of lime Jello.

~ Oscar Wilde on Catspace

Catspace is a parallel universe in which cats are created. The negative energies of Catspace agglutinate until the negative energy gains sentinence- this is how a cat is born. After being created, the new cats are ferried across the river Styx by the 00ber 1337 boatman Spartacus. Once they reach the Earth, they go forth and continuously until the negative Catspace energies outweigh the positive. The cats automagically correct this problem via the "Cat-Sheep Theory", that is, that the population of cats is directly proportional to the sheep population of New Zealand. If they continue to spawn after the "negative energy quota" has been reached, there will be a great catastrophe; because Catspace is a parallel to our world, if said catapostrophe occurs, we will cease to exist.

Contents

[edit] Geography

Unlike the "real world", Catspace is composed of one Pangaea-like continent surrounded by a sea of blue lemonade. The continent is christened Catopia, Home of the Mighty Cats. The capital city, Arx Felis, has buildings composed entirely of alabaster, and the streets are paved with gold. This explains why they (cats) hold us (humans) in such high disdain.

Because of their physical geography, the only way they can reach the place we call Earth is by means of Spartacus. Spartacus' boat is composed of a rare tristinium compound which is somehow resistant to the blue, lemony goodness.

The population of Catspace can be deduced by the simple formula math, where c is the cat population and s is the sheep population of New Zealand.

[edit] Economy

All Hail Qween Pwecious-Wecious!
All Hail Qween Pwecious-Wecious!

The Mao is the national currency of Catopia. The exchange rate of the U.S. dollar to Mao is now approximately .2816 (it varies depending ot the cats' mood). The Mao traditionally displays the visage of the current monarch, now being Qween Pwecious-Wecious I. The main exports of Catopia are catnip (duh), their ubiquitous blue lemonade, and very small ears of corn. Needless to say, humans are entirely dependent on the cats' trade. With their earnings, the typical cat buys large quantities of burlap for "special purposes".

Catopians are also advocates for the abolishment of kitten huffing. Apparently their system of ethics finds it wrong to suck a kitten's soul out through its nose. They passed the Anti Huffing Act of 1812 in October of 1796, proclaiming that only surplus cats may be huffed. Breaking of the law will result in torture by depraved felines.

[edit] Returning to Catspace

Without a practical way to bond the cat and toast, the device is useless.
Without a practical way to bond the cat and toast, the device is useless.

As demonstrated by countless Cat-Toast Device experiments, the cat seems to disappear after being exposed to adhesive. Scientists have concluded that glue is actually the antiparticle to the cat. Therefore, upon contact, the cat annihilates, creating a miniature black hole in the process. Other scientists hypothesize that the black hole is actually a gateway to Catspace, where the cat retreated out of fear. Some "researchers" at the National Enquirer think that the cat merely gets upset at having glue on its fur and runs away. These are bald-faced lies and should be ignored.

[edit] See also

Central America and South America
Central: Belize | Costa Rica | El Salvador | Guatemala | Honduras | Kittenolivia | Mexico | New Mexico | Nicaragua | Panama | Panama Canal Zone
South: Argentina (en español) | Bolivia | Brazil (em português) | Republic of Bulimia | Cat Nation | Catspace | Chile (en español) | Colombia (en español) | Easter Island | Ecuador (en español) | Falkland Islands | French Guiana | Galapagos Islands | Guyana | Locombia | Paraguay | Peru (en español) | Seahorsia | Suriname | Uruguay (en español) | Venezuela (en español)
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