Catten
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“Meow, miew miew meow; mew miaow, mrrow.”
~ a Catten on Cattens
“What the bloody hell is going on here, now? Cattens? That's crazy! Egyptians built the pyramids!”
~ Smiley Johannsson on Cattens
“Uh, no; we just watched. Mexicans, remember? Quite efficient little slaves, them!”
~ Egyptians on Cattens
The term "catten" is now used[citation needed] as a slang term for the interim between a cat's kitten and cat stages; lost in history, however, is the true meaning of the term. The word is thought to have been made from the convergence of "cat" and "kitten", to form "catten".
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[edit] Prologue
It was of a glorious occasion that the cats of old Egypt had banded together to form their proudest achievement, the Pyramids. The Egyptians looked in awe of the great splendor erradiated by the towering monuments. The Cats had built these pyramids using only their innate cat instincts, and plenty of hired out workers. They were an attestment to the great victories achieved by the Cattens in their recent years, and they marked the building of the thriving city of Cattenia, the Catten metropolis. However, dark times would follow their most sacred of historic footprints.
[edit] Ancient Catten History
[edit] The First Cattens
The first Cattens were not Cattens at all; at least, not in the sense they are viewed today. They were a tribe of sorts of Egyptians that had taken to raising smarter-than-normal cats. These Egyptians called themselves the Avorfelsio, or the caretakers of the cat. The cats produced through their rigorous standards were known as the first Cattens in history. These Cattens held arresting abilities of power; they controlled the underlying plane of existence; Magic. They were magical beings that, at first, were used to supplement the faults in the Avorfelsio, but they soon took under a crusade of their own, the first Infirafels Cruxor. There had been minor inconveniencies before, but never had the Cattens taken over an entire Avorfelsio camp.
[edit] Infirafels Cruxor C: The First Crusade of Angry Cattens
The night was just beginning to fall upon the arid desert, seemingly awakening the land to a harsh future it was about to recieve. One Catten stood tall upon a giant hill of sand, the last rays of light striking his face to subtlety; it was time. "Suductus!" The land was alight with the shining hand-made armour of the many Cattens ready to die for liberation. The front moved forward.
At some point in the history of the Cattens, the first crusade, Infirafels Cruxor Calico, was wrought by the furry paw of Sir Duxor Felinus; an army lead to fight an almost unbeatable foe, that of the Avorfelsio, the very same caretakers that had brought them into being. It was a battle ignited from unknown reasons, perhaps because of the ferocity which was bred into the Cattens, perhaps not. It was a brief battle, ending with the triumphant cries of the newly liberated Cattens. The walls wer-...
[edit] Modern Catten History
[edit] The Catten Interim
...Not that any of the Catten history is unimportant or anything, but they don't exist anymore, so it's time to talk about contemporary Cattens.
The catten stage is simply the equivalent of a teenage cat. Since cats grow up when ever you're not looking; one minute a kitten, the other, dead; the catten stage is hard to pinpoint. Most scientists believe it is the point that the cat/kitten/catten begins to understand its surroundings and listen to death metal music. If you ever notice your cat sitting around and watching TV, that probably counts, too. Once you identify the Catten, you must either wait until it grows up (takes about 3~5 seconds) or kill it by way of Good Old Rusty Concealed Chainsaw.
