Cause Of Hitler
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| THE BOG SAYS *s..i..i..g..g..h..h..h..* I'm sure there was a brilliant point in here somewhere, uhhhh. . . where was that exactly? |
“Hey fatty!”
~ Hitler on drugs
“Fucking Hitler is a fucking pussy. I'm going to fucking bury that guy, I have done it before, and I will do it again. I'm going to fucking kill Hitler.”
~ Steve Ballmer on Hitler
Hitler, commonly known as Endoplasmic Reticulum, was a horrific figure and did horrific things to make the world a horrific nightmare. The Jew killing, attack on Poland, triggering of WWII, and suicide were all death and destruction.
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[edit] Jew Genocide
The genocide of WWII against the Jews was an event not worth remembering. Cussing and swearing at the deity who caused the mess makes us all feel better, but are we really doing the right thing? One of Hitler's journals provides us with proof that he, in fact did not hate Jews but in fact juice.
Here is a clip of his journal (Apparently he referred to himself in third person):
"Saturday morning, Adolph is still asleep."
A more relevant clip:
"As Adolph sat in his throne of absolute power and demanded for juice, his servant brought him one. Little did Adolph know this juice was not from concentrate. At the very thought of this he erupted from his absolute power-filled throne and screamed 'NO! DIE! I HATE JUICE! CONCENTRATE ALL THE JUICE![1]'"
This was the cause of why Jews were sent to concentration camps, as the servant had bad hearing, and Hitler had a very bad accent.
So can we really blame a man for wanted juice?
[edit] Attack on Poland
The not-so-surprising attack on Poland was one of the few times 'attack' and 'Poland' were mentioned in the same sentence. The true trigger of this attack was built on a meeting which involved tea and conversation with the Polish leader. The Polish leader called Hitler a 'free leader' and Hitler had his head removed because of the mentioning of free, for the heck of it, he even invaded his country and took it over.
[edit] Triggering of WWII
The War to End all Wars was a Chlorine gas party. But before all that, it was started, by yours truly. The recent imports of kangaroos from Australia had not yet arrived, and Hitler had grown impatient.
Ready to attack the country, he decided it was too far and to attack "Austria" instead since no one would know. Next, he invaded Sudetenland and Czechoslovakia and other hard to pronounce nations. By this time, soccer was at a halt, so Italy decided to help out Germany in accomplishing their non-existent goal. Not long after, Britain's Prime Minister and Hitler had a conversation in English, realizing Hitler had an incomprehensible accent, they started to wage war. While that was going on, Hitler realized he had a competitor in the non-English-speaking-leaders-of-Europe-and-nearby, so he started attacking the Soviet Union. Three million German soldiers powered by juice (or Jews) were set to attack. coz he was boted out of stalingrad he went nuts and started killing more jews. this accomplished nothing. And the rest as they say, is. history.
[edit] Fun in the Sun
Hitler liked catching a few rays at the beach. He built a cannon out of palm trees and shot jews up to the sun.
[edit] Suicide
Realizing what the hell just happened, and what he was thinking, he decided to kill himself with a copy of "Bye bye black bird" (by Fletcher Henderson and Dixon).[2]
