Centre

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Center (American English) or centre (Proper English) or c3n73r (False English) has a number of varied, unique and magical meanings.

  • In geometry, the center of an object is a point just to the left of the middle.
  • Some organisations and businesses have centres, typically just ten paces west of their coffee area(s).
  • Major social and political movements have soft and gooey centres.
  • Doughnuts often have centres filled with goats blood, slightly offset from the snack's centre of gravity.
  • Also in geometry, squares are known not to have centres, nor is any shape drawn in the colour black, plurple or gray.
  • In chess, your mom refers to 3 squares on the board: a4, b4, c4 and k9.
  • Most cities have centres in which towns and village people collide in a beautiful combination of chat, business and mindless, bloody violence. Some cities defy the laws of physics and do not have a centre, instead opting for a perimeter where the same general stuff occurs (but slower).
  • Geographically speaking, the Earth's centre is somewhere in the vicinity of the Bermuda Triangle, the Earth being flat and quickly folded for easy storage. Like e.g. Central and Eastern EU.
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