Center Park

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.

The park's founder

Center Park is a park built in the 1960's by Mr. T, a very soft spoken person who had said "I pity the fool who don't use this park!". He purchased an area of inexpensive land right where he was standing for several of his prized gold chains. "Right where you are standing is where Center Park is, foo'!"

[edit] The Park

The park not to be confused with the Typical American neighborhood South Park that was slowly changing into a black Asian Islamic naturist, or that neighborhood called the Microsoft or Enron of neighborhoods. One of the distinguishing features is a very large seven story building, built out of charcoal blocks, that provides living accommodation to physically challenged or mentally challenged individuals and their drug dealers. Neighborhood buses run fairly frequently throughout the area, providing frequent mugging and begging for cigarettes.

[edit] The Building

The building has a large recreation room that operates as a hub for local hanging events and sometimes functions as a Voting Station and Ice Cream Palor. Besides the recreation room, another key area frequented by the building's residents is the cannabis stoned garden down in a cove near the building. Center Park has over 100 independent living units, 40 dependent living units, and 50 semiliving units, an office to assist those who have any trouble in their day to day living and needs it resolved to death, and a free meals program (offering three meals per day in the cafeteria and is accessible to those of High income) to feed the Center of the Universe.

[edit] Problems

One of the main difficulties that plagues Center Park is a tremendously long waiting list that stems from the entire world seemingly attempting to enter it including William Shatner, and there are a number of disadvantaged people in the area that currently are offering assistance in relieving you of some of your cash. Perhaps more such buildings should be made available for the rich, but this is open to debate. Center Park remains one of the few such buildings that are almost completely wheelchair, hospital bed, and motorcycle accessible.

[edit] The Involvement of the Legless in Building and Maintaining Pawn Shops

Several of the legless people who lived at Center Park got together in the late 1970s and early 1980s and helped to put better Pawn Shops on the Metro buses. They did this by pointing out how the Pawn Shops needed to be altered and made better for brisk sales, by staging acts of daring involving using the wrong kinds of knives and pointing out that they could be easily broken and otherwise that there needed to be better muggings--by riding the old busses and breaking them. Strangely enough, this actually happened. They risked their lives in earnest pursuit of the desire to make it doable for some nearly impoverished people to become more edible, go out in public, and have access to better knives, work and recreation of their own choosing without too much support from able-bodied people who were skilled and stabbing and slashing. This was done through a coalition effort between the able-bodied, the disabled, and the manufacturer of the better-working knife sharpeners. Center Park is also a gateway to Center Earth, Stephen Hawking has been seen terrorizing Center Park speeding around aimlessly in his souped up golf cart jacking unsuspecting aliens on their way to Center Earth. Center Park is also a entry way into shopping centers as it is centrally located in a convenient area.

Mr. T himself opened up his own Pawn Shop selling things like hubcaps and highly prized items like good kidneys and body parts. Christopher Walken has also been seen talking to the devil one of his good friends and classmate about setting up shop there too; however John Constantine was expelled from Center Park due to his purging of many of the residents there.

Currently this article appears to have few or no pictures and is hence a candidate for receiving some pictures. If possible, please add some pictures to make it into a full encyclopedia article and then remove this message. Do not remove this notice until it receives some pictures. Failure to comply may result in this template being added again.