Centerville

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Centerville is a mid-western town close to Chicago, Illinois. Unlike any other place in America, Centerville is the most boring location in the whole of America, and quite possibly The World.

1 Foundation
2 Most Boring Place Ever
3 Excitement?
4 Death
5 Notable Places of Interest
- 5.1 Pre-1983
- 5.2 Post-1983
6 Gallery

[edit] Foundation

The town was formed in 1890 by settlers under the command of Cuthbert Pumphandle, who owned the largest collection of Toenail clippings at the time. The intelligent left the group, knowing what sort of town Pumphandle had in mind. Those stupid enough to believe Pumphandle was a hero helped to create the town of Centerville we know today.

Within a few months, Centerville was home to the Church of St. Paperweight (and the only place in America to hold the order), the Museum of Carpets and the first ever store to sell superhero comics about Insurance Salesmen.

[edit] Most Boring Place Ever

When most of the town's population left, Centerville was filled with all the sad people of America who flocked to see its tedious attractions. Within ten years, Centerville was named the most boring place in America by Bill Clinton in 1902.

[edit] Excitement?

For most of the time, Centerville did nothing. Then, on June 4, 1958, a flying saucer landed in a nearby wood. Upon taking one glance at the town, the Strange Invaders decided Centerville was too boring and relocated their invasion to New York, thus ending the only truly exciting thing to happen in Centerville.

[edit] Death

To try and purge America of its blemishes, Admiral Donald Duck destroyed the town using an Atomic Bomb in 1983, thus finally ending the saga of Centerville. Today, the smoking hole in the ground where it once stood has attracted more visitors than the actual town ever did.

[edit] Notable Places of Interest

[edit] Pre-1983

The Church of St. Paperweight - The only church in the World to worship this purely-fictitious deity.

The Museum of Carpets - Home to the largest collection of 19th Century carpets in America.

Gabblet Park - The meeting place of the Paperclip Club, an organisation for Paperclip makers.

The Bridge - A wooden bridge.

[edit] Post-1983

The Big Smokey Hole - Set in the glorious Illinois countryside, this black crater has a diameter of 1 mile exactly, where Centerville once stood. A gift shop is on the site, along with radiation-proof suits, geiger counters and a plaque praising Admiral Donald Duck for his actions.