Champion

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.

Jump to: navigation, search
      Whoops! Maybe you were looking for Retard?

I was the first champion!!!

~ Oscar Wilde on Championship.
A true champion!!!
A true champion!!!

What is a champion... Who are you!?

~ Capitan Oblivious on Chimpionship.

Your the CHAMPION of the day!

~ Capitan Obvious on Championship.

Contents

[edit] What is a Champion?

A champion is a derogatory term referring to someone who is the head master of the international toast buttering CHAMPIONSHIP! A champion is also someone who looks particularly retarded in photographs, a champion can be someone who wears military attire to school or off the battle feild for that matter. Champions also include the homeless (usually the drunk ones) who like to hang around train stations and coffee shops asking for money for "coffee".

[edit] How to become a Champion

A true champion!!!
A true champion!!!
The first step to becoming a champion is to be completely socially oblivious and offensive for example wearing a horns and pointy tail to church, or wearing a "Wife Beater" to a confrence on feminism, a champion would also be seen wearing any piece of the signature "kkk" cloaking or hood in an african american community. Champions have also been caught masturbating in public, cuddling with goats, and finally wearing ridiculous clothing such as a green tuxedo to low-key social events such as funerals, or interventions.

[edit] History of Champions

One of the first Champions was most definently Jesus, as he single handedly managed to piss off the entire jewish population to which he belonged when in reality what he was trying to do was amuse them, Jesus also cloaked himself in white during all occasions (EVERYONE knows your not supposed to wear white after labour day!!!) so essentially judging by his flamboyant attire and generally insane behaviour it is easy to say he could be seen as comperable to a "pimp" or a... CHAMPION!!! After people had lost interest in Jesus the next great champion emerged: Colonel Sanders. Colonel Sanders was an crazy fool who though it would be a great idea to dress himself up as a (southern) P.I.M.P. and parade around the country on a chicken killing spree, angering celebrities such as the lovely miss Pamela Anderson. After establishing himself in the "Negro Chow" market the Old colonel then began to support the kkk with a whopping 30% of the profits from KFC, this was particularly ironic as his chicken had become the staple of African American Diets since it's invention in 1856.

[edit] Award of Champions

The Award of Champions is distributed to a special few uncyclopedians who have a particularly Champion-esq way of writing their articles, the award is distributed solely by the Great-Dishonourable User:Lumpolard (inventer of the award). Any who recives The Award of champions should sport it proudly at the top of their page, or the middle of their forehead!

[edit] List of Great Champions

Personal tools
projects