Channel 4

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This article or section may be Overly British. Americans may not understand humour, only humor. Canadians and Australians may not understand anything at all. Don't change a thing to remedy this.

“Not everything we say is completely made up”

~ Channel 4 on Dispatches

“Who shot Mr Burns, again?”

~ Mr Burns on having to be shot for the 700th time

“D'Oh? D'Oheth?”

~ The Simpsons on Channel 4

“Did you mean: fourth terrestrial station.”

~ Google on Channel 4

This is Channel 4...on 4.

You may have been looking for the simpsons. You can find them on sky one.... every fucking hour of the day. Except they're the new episodes, so they're shit.

Channel Four (AKA Channel Fore, The 4, The alternative to BBC and ITV) is The Other-Other option when it comes to television broadcasting in the United Kingdom and the rest of the Empire (which includes Spain and Northern Madagascar). This channel made a name for itself when it decided to put an end to Southern-based television shows, with the highly popular Brokeback Side, a take on a small homosexual commune around the city of Liverpool.

Big Brother The show Big Brother where homosexuals, lesbians and general freaks and semi celebs are locked in a room with no running water or electricity is the channels flagship raitings puller. People have contreversially ended up eating other contestants to satisfy their rave hunger. After the 4th series, the producer Gi Gi was executed by being thorwn into a hot pit of lava for ruining the show. The series after saw a fight resulting in the death of contestants Emma and Michelle. Victor was gassed in the Diary room for his behaviour. The show was won by a transexual (Nadia alMANnda (Seriously) ) and runner up was musle inthusiat Jason Cowan. Russell Brand famously broke into the house once and raped several housemates. After this he laid DavinaMcCall and opted to leave out O'Leary (BBLB host) The show is mainly watched by dirty peados or people who have no life. The show has several spin offs, all of which include at least 45 B's in their names.

Friday Night Project You can play along at home! All you need is an obese overly hairy man, a dirty gay and a celebrity of your choice. The programme consists of a large blue and red knob that lives under the news desk and killer cleaning utensil that prefers to go by the name Noo Noo.

Shipwrecked Oh how we love wasting our days away watching a bunch of knobs doing nothing all day on an island pretending to be stranded and that they cannot see the clearly visible 50 cameras dotted around the 30 x 30 studio set.

The SimpsonsC4 bought this import illegally from an un named sorce who has also provided them with Lost and the Simple life in the past.

1 Other Stuff
2 Start of a new era in televisual delights
3 Modern day
4 Banned From Channel 4
5 See Also:

[edit] Other Stuff

This was not all they had to show. Oh no. They had other shows to. Seriously, lots of great stuff.

“If there was only five British terrestrial Television channels I would allow to be aired was I god, I would most likely choose Channel Four to be one of them. That is probably down to that great show about homosexuals, though.''”

~ Oscar Wilde

“D'Oh? D'Oheth?”

~ The Simpsons on Channel 4

Of course there are only five British terrestrial channels, but the sentiment was definetley there. This is proof that Oscar wilde is in fact God. Ironically, when the head of the Channel Four heard this, he was reported to have said:

By 'eck, thats a cracker of a wee compliment is 'at. I love Citizen Kane, so its like a well big compliment for me.

Many laughed at this hideous miscalculation of artists, but when you consider the head of ITV claimed William Shakespeare was probably his favorite Post-Punk artist after The Beatles, all was forgotten.

[edit] Start of a new era in televisual delights

Some might say the Countdown to self destruction has already begun.

When the second show started, there was a serious amount of controversy. Originally planned to be titled Countdown, the show stirred up unrest in the lower classes as the show, then titled Countdown Your IQ, Which Doesn't Take Much, You Working Class Prick Who Clearly Needs a Job/Life insulted almost everyone.

In a fast response, Channel Four Execs came up with what they called, a 'Fricking well awesome plan'. They would show the News, and they would avoid talking about all the nonsense and just talk about what matters; the likelihood that we won't live out our lives to the full due to imminent Global Warming, Bird Flu and 'The Western World Being Taken Over By Men In Turbans Shouting A Lot'.

It was a huge success. People were so scarred they didn't want to leave the house to riot, they wanted to stay in their bomb bunkers with built in television sets.

[edit] Modern day

Channel Four puts an emphasis on great cinema. Classics like Tim Burton's Planet Of The Apes and Some Really Poor Directors' Jason MMMMMMMMXVI, with a healthy dose of teenage slaughter with the Academy Award eligible Final Destination series to tidy things up.

One thing that the British public absolutely adore is being told what is great and what isn't. Thanks to Channel Four '100 Greatest... Series, this had become possible. 100 Greatest ways to kill yourself proved popular, yet reruns failed to gain as much popularity. Bias? Just because the votes had to be out of a chosen 140 doesn't mean anything. It just means that the whole thing is a load of bull****.