Chao
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
“Chao chao? Chao chao chao chao chao?...Chao, chao chao chao. CHAO CHAO CHAO!! (Roughly translated: Cream the Rabbit? The horny girl that molests me every day?...Yeah, I'm her bitch.)”
~ Velveeta the Chao on Cream the Rabbit
“Chao Chao chao, CHAO CHAO chao.( Roughly translated, I will eatz ur BRAINZ!)”
~ Chao on Your Mom
“Who needs little boys when you've got these?”
~ Micheal Jackson on Chao
The Chao are created by computers made by Humans in Japan. And they were created in the flesh by Americans (accedently) when someone farted in the lab creating an explosion where forged in American gas the Chao.
Stop the lying madness and start saying good stuff!!!!!!!!
Contents |
[edit] IQ
The Chao is said to be intelligent but in order to find how dumb or smart they are all you had to do is go to a Chao Gardon and take out a lazer light and point it near a group of chao. If they think it as a threat they will try to attack it and if you point it at a chao, other chaos will try to beat the shit out of it but will end up beating the crap out of the targeted Chao...and the result will be serrious gouch (the gouch is between your ballsack and asshole) problems and probably involving bloody crap maybe. If they think its food, they would try to eat it and if they catch it they would end up tasting their own hand. If you try this on a chao, who knows whats going to happen.Only God knows.
[edit] Evolutions
The evolutions are somewhat bizzare and the dukes of hazzard will take care of that.
Hero Chao: An angle form of Chao, Devil Chaos scare the shit out of them
Neutral Chao: Blue like always and does not like bad gas
Villan Chao: Or Devil Chao, they play pranks on Hero Chaos and they have a touch of Hell to them.
Chaos Chao: Basically either a hero/villian/neutral chao, except it is a pwnage uber, and can beat the living shit out of any other Chao.
Zombie Chao: A chao who has been zombified thanks to Dumasses. They bites other Chao to zombifiey them or they eat the shit out of them.
Omaochao: Idk, same reasons as zombie chao (ty dumasses)
[edit] Diet
Chao pretty much eat almost anything you give them. Rumors said that they ate an old car engine and a piece of Dog crap. They like fruit and also junkfood. Official source said that they tried to eat each other and turns out it has been proven false. If they are hungry enough and find food on the ground, they would run to it. There were rumors of people taking them to Pizza Hut and that has been confirmed.
[edit] Habitat
Chao mostly live in a once secret place called "Chao Garden". "Chao Garden" is small and hiddin. Many Chao live there, and their cover has been blown thanks to Tails' rambling nonsence. Official sorces said that these Chao gardens are now protected or they will be turned into a piece of shit that came out of the toilet by Eco Terrorist who claims they are an ugly piece of pie (they were killed by the guards before damage was done). Plus only 10 Chao Gardens have been turned into crap by Eco Terrorist.
[edit] Uses
Did you know you can use a chao for anything? You can! They are used by:
- Pulling pranks
- Using them as a sleeping mask
- Getting to know your doctor
- Saving Holland
- Sleeping with them
- Masterbate
- More pranks
- Hurt Saddam Husien in the ass
- Plug your wife's butt to stop her from farting (sorry honey)
[edit] Chao Abuse
Everybody knows that if you attack a chao they will cry. But if you attack Cheese the Chao, his crying is so loud that it will break everything made of glass for more than a mile.
Some Actions of Abuse are:
- Throwing Chao against a wall.
- Kicking, slashing, punching Chao.
- Trying to hang them.
- Catching them in the act of their private moments
- Bouncing on a Chao.
- burrying them alive
- digging there grave before they hatch
- Being sat on by overweight people
- Being farted on
If you abuse these chao, they will die or turn into a Devil Chao when it grows up. So if you are being cruel to a Chao, your a dumass. Anyone who had abused a chao will end up being beaten the shit out of by hippies and cops and will end up being kicked in the groin. Ouch!
[edit] So called "Friends".
A lot of friends to the chao are perves. They include:
- Sonic the Hedgehog
- Miles "Tails" Prower
- Amy Rose
- Spiderman
- Batman
- Megaman
- Your Mom
- Your Moms mom
- Your Moms Moms Mom
- You Get the Stinkin' Idea
- Eggman
- Yugi Naka
- Mario
- Peach
- Luigi
- Pikachu(no good can come of this.)
- Goomba
- Bowser o_O
- Ash Ketchum
- Satan himself
- Yoshi
- Terry Bogard
- Elmo
- Big Bird
- Chuck E. Cheese
- Adolf Hitler
- bugs bunny
- Me
- GOD (You dont want to know)
- some wierdo who touches kids and asks for drugs on the street
- Waldo
- Gay guys or Little Girls
- Barney
- Zelda
- Harry Pothead
[edit] Why do Chao have serrious issues
- Because they just do.
- Because They feel like Stabs.
- Because they can jump up and down.....
- They go to Pizza Hut way too much.
- they live in a run down 1000 year old stupid cruddy garden
- Most are bipolar.
- they believe in Santa Clause
- Their t.v.'s dont get any reception
- their racist =O to black chao
- they sleep on trees
- they dont have PS3's
- they dont make good target practice dummies
- I just don't know
