Chavham
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
| This article or section may be Overly British. Americans may not understand humour, only humor. Canadians and Australians may not understand anything at all. Don't change a thing to remedy this. |
Chavham is a town in England, infamous for the chav infestation since the early 1990s
Contents |
[edit] About Chavham
Chavham was formerly a popular tourist destination until an American staying at a local hotel in 1993 noticed an RnB like sound in the walls of his room. This was investigated and discovered to have a chav infestation. Chavs are known to breed litters as young as 8 years old which sparked the epidemic. Eventually, rockers (or anyone else half decent to talk to and be around) were outnumbered 1000:1.
[edit] What You Need To Survive In Chavham
This depends on whether you are there for business (Read: school or work) or pleasure (Read: killing Chavs)
For Buisness You Will Need:
- A pair of headphones attached to an MP3 player or CD player- so you do not have to listen to the incoherant gibbering that is chav speak
For Pleasure You Will Need
- A hair of headphones attached to an MP3 player or CD player- See Above
- Any gun with large amounts of ammo, to kill Chavs from a distance (the best way)
- A sword, axe or other close combat weapon- in the (hopefully) unlikely event that you do run out of ammo for your gun, you can still continue killing the Chav scum, risky but infintely more satisfying and useful.
You will never need any protection in Chavham, because Chavs never start fights, they will only join in existing fights or hurl abuse from a distance in Gibberish (the official language of Chavham), which you won't be able to hear due to your headphones
[edit] The King Of Chavham
Chavham has a strange erection system (lol)- the latest person to have sex with a slag on Kings Lag Road (also known as King Slag's Row) becomes King, this rulership usually lasts less than a day so it is no use working out who is the latest King
