Chel$ki Abramograd F.C.
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“Dey ain't not got no Gerrard doh 'ave dey doh!?”
~ Liverpool fans trying to speak English
“Your Mum Bitch”
~ Jose Mourinho when asked who will be playing alongside [[bragba
]]
“EEEEWWWWW GET AWAY FROM ME TUBBY!!!”
~ Women on Lampard
“Your feeble skills are no match for the power of the Dark Side!'”
~ Avram Grant on Luke Skywalker
“Dot Cotten had more chance of score goal then Shevchenko.”
~ Jose Mourinho on After leaving Chel$ki Abramograd F.C.
“Claude can sit in front of MY defense any day of the week.”
~ winking Juan Pablo Angle
Chel$ki Abramograd Football Club, branded The London Chelseas, founded by Vladimir Lenin in 1905, are a football club once based in Fulham but now residing in Moscow.
Chel$ki were holding the cock of the FA Premier League tits until this year, after buying viagra in FIFA 07, still playing terribly, and just bribing the other teams to lose to them. Each one of their players has a severe crack problem, but this typically becomes a problem when they verse Manchester United, as Christiano Ronaldo is not a mere human, and sold his soul to the kitten huffing devil to dive 3.5 million times in the 2008 season. Then that they are having some "crack issues" on the field.
[edit] History
Chelsea have a long penis, and have fought battles with it throughout the ages, earning many free condoms. The story begins in the 1960s, when the powerful King Greenaway united the tribes under his rule and created a strong military unit. One of their earliest skirmishes was against their hated neighbours the San Antonio Spurs, whose formidable Yid Army was crushed at the gates of Wembley in 1967. The Yid Army would return on many occasions. Chelsea also suck men.
The victory brought them into contact with tribes from further afield, the most daunting of which were the Lions of Millwall, against whom many bloody battles would be fought over the years. The most notorious of said clashes came in 1977 when the Lions unleashed a new kind of weapon, the meathook. Casualties were high on both sides. This was the first conflict in history to be fully televised.
The Blue advance reached the continent. Chelsea were attacked by the Romans in 1965, who were promptly crushed in a cunning pincer movement. In revenge, Greenaway's hordes swept through Europe, devastating Bruges and Zaragoza in the process. They reached Rome, but a surprise attack in 1965 forced a strategic withdrawal.
The battles on the domestic front continued. The knife-wielding Scousers were slaughtered; the River Mersey is said to have been red with blood for days. Cockney tribes from the east were held off in the infamous Battle of the Shed, 1969. After EmptyPig surrendered without even raising their standard, the Chelsea hordes again marched north. This time the enemy were Leeds, a horde known for its savagery and taste for drinking the blood of their defeated enemies. This time, however, it was King Greenaway the Glorious who feasted on the claret.
So concludes the history of the Chelsea hordes. Whenever someone tells you Chelsea have no history, always ask: who was it your daddy and his mates were always running away from then?
Chelsea are a football team who have history, yes.
The only reason that Chelsea are even playing football anymore is because some stupid millionare took pity on them. Awww love them.
[edit] Chel$ki Squad
1. Petr Cech: Petr"s ass is still 'messed up' after Cashley suggested a 'dogging' session one evening. Petr took along his Spaniel, which Cashley was delighted about. Petr was welcomed into the world of 'Man Love' by Cashley, a vibrating Mobile Phone and his Spaniel. This upset Petr so much that he now has to wear a padded helmet for when he bounces his head off the walls to rid himself of those shocking images, that night on Hampstead Heath! He revealed the true reason he suffered a depressed fracture of the skull was during a night of passion with Lampard, during which the Chelski number 8 unleashed the beast and slapped Cech across the skull. He now wears head protection in training as well, just in case.
3. Cashley Cole: Cashley Cole is in fact Joe Cole's long lost brother, which means that Joe Cole is actually an albino whose ancestors descended from South America (which explains why he's the only white English player who can dribble, although this was removed from him at his time at West Ham and Chel$ki). Cashley sold his soul to a guy in a gimp suit (Mourinho) after he was "Left Back" at Highbury, while the rest of Londrés moved to Emirates stadium. Loves nothing more than a Nokia switched to vibrate rammed up his Gary the dirty git. He is thought to have died 45 weeks ago, wajwhajhaowo
4. Claude Ukelele: Claude is a Private Investigator when he is not playing football and has a varied collection of Hawaiian shirts.
5. Michael Ass-ien: Came to England with a grudge against knees. Nearly killed Didi Hamann and Talal Ben Haim before realising the error of his ways. Essien uses a special technique learnt from the Waterboy movie, in which Mourinho says "Hey the whole other team banged your mum Michael, you gonna let them get away with it?". Prototype in Abramovich's evil scheme to create a super race of cyborg footballers. Doesn't feel pity or remorse or fear, and absolutely will not stop. Ever.
7. Andriy Shitschenko: Ukrainian striker who is Roman's bitch. His prolific strike rate in English football is only bettered by Sir Peter Beardsley and Paul Robinson. Andriy spends a lot of time with Didhedive Drogba and rumours circulating around the Russian club is that Andriy is expecting Didhedive's child sometime in 2010.
8. Frank Lamb-pie: Master of the pie eating contest that is often held along the Fulham Road. A hole was recently blasted in the corner of Stamford Bridge in order to get his forklift in. Was once fined 1 million pounds by Jose for turning up at training in a comedy sumo suit! Well Jose thought it was!
10. Joe Cole Mo Fo: Cheeky Chappy Joe is a real man's man and tops up his earnings by being a Soho rent boy. Joe, when playing football, can be a real match winner. When he isn't being a footballer or a rent boy he whiles away his time trying to chat up models and then being beaten by their boyfriends. He's the first of the contestants from the game show "I'm a mong give me job" to find fame and fortune in football.
11. Didhedive "Dog"ba: Gay Ivorian, with really shit hair, who adapted to English football at a similar rate to Shevchenko. 6ft tall and built like an ox, but goes down quicker than Wayne Rooney in an old people's home.
12. John Obi Wan Kenobi Mikel Leigertwood Arteta: Son of Wan Kenobi, John shunned a life of trying to destroy the death star to become a footballer and so went to the home of football Norway, where he was adopted by the Mikele Leigertwood's Norweigan cousins. Played for a woman's team, Lyn Oslo, and then signed for Man Utd. Chelsea then offered him lots of money and threatened him with a Night with Kalid Boulharouz, so John told Utd he didn't want to play for them and joined Chel$ki. Utd pocketed 16 Million quid from the deal and went and bought Michael Carrick. Both players are shit so no-one benefitted from the deal really. Except for FC Lyn, of course who no longer had to put up with his "accidental rapings" of his fellow teammates. Ashley Cole was delighted with Mikels arrival for reasons other than football. He has since learned the art of obtaining red cards from Michael Essien.
13. Michael Bollocks: German Midfielder. Ballack was the darling of German football until he joined the 'Fat Frank' diet club and put on almost 32 stone.
With a work rate and dedication equivalent to that of Paris Hilton, Ballack has now been demoted to mopping floors and collecting "Drogba droppings".
18. Wayne "Stamford" Bridge: Has no right to be on Chel$ki's left flank on account that his surname isn't Cole. One of Roman's first buys. Only God knows why he bought him.
23. Carlo Cudicini: Second choice keeper. Once considered for England squad, before the FA realised it was a stupid idea, English citizenship or not.
24. Shaun Wright-Fish-lips: Has tragically disappeared from everything. Once England's replacement for David Beckham, now England's replacement for Aaron Lennon. Shrunk by the Subbuteo Foundation in stature.
26. Juan Terrier: The other half of the 'good' Chel$ki team. With him, Chel$ki let in one goal every 54 games. Without him, that figure is somewhere near 4 goals every 0.5 games. Also possesses kamikaze bravery, as seen in the 2007 Snarling Cup final when he headbutted Abou Diaby's foot, almost breaking it, he also seems to be one of the best keepers in the world.
25. Josh Hamit: Possibly the worst player ever to wear a chelsea shirt and a turkish shirt, but not the worst player in the world, that is Ross-Silcott Robotham.
39. Nicolas Anelka: The newest addition to Chel$ki Abramograd F.C. He is widely known for his habit of switching teams 23 times every 10 minutes, which often causes massive confusions in matches when he randomly changes his uniforms. In a 1996 match between Arsenal and Chelsea, he was spotted on the pitch running around with a real madrid uniform. Only ten minutes after that had he been transferred to Millwall, and only 5 minutes later, after he found out that they were SCUM, he decided to sign for AC Milan. He has become another GLORY HUNTER like the rest of the Chelsea squad.
[edit] Rules of Chelsea Players
1. cost over £10 million 2. Must be a bag of wank 3. Must have a share in Romans oil company 4. Cannot be British unless they have a stupid accent and are totally shocking
[edit] Chel$ki's Business Tactics
These are examples of how a typical transfer occurs within Chel$ki:
[edit] Typical Transfer no. 1
Mourinho: Hmm...that player that I saw the other day, lets buy him.
Russian Mafia Spy: That was a documentary on Franz Beckenbauer, the West German football legend.
Mourinho: Yeah, yeah spare me the details, offer him some cash so he will play for us.
Russian Mafia Spy: He retired from football like 30 years ago...I doubt he will be for sale
Mourinho: In that case, lets buy another German that begins with a B.
Russian Mafia Spy: Hmm...Ballack?
Mourinho: Sure, whatever, what have we got to lose anyway? Money? (laughs insanely)
Russian Mafia Spy: (laughs maniacally) Good one.
[edit] Typical Transfer no. 2
Mourinho: I received some shocking news yesterday. Apparently we are not at the top of the tables in the Premiership? THIS IS AN OUTRAGE! WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN!
Russian Mafia Spy: Its been like this the whole season, Greys Athletic were on top since the beginning...
Mourinho: WHAT!? Why was I not aware of this?
Russian Mafia Spy: Erm...I can think of several reasons, but thats not the point, we need to solve this problem.
Mourinho: Hmmm this should be simple, lemme just check my Football Manager 07 on my PC and see which players are the most valuable...lets see...Rooney? Nah he will fuck all the 'Chelsea Pensioners'. Messi? Nah silly name. Hey check this guy out, Salomon Kalou is rated quite high! Lets buy this player!
Russian Mafia Spy: ...Hes on our team already...
Mourinho: Fine then... I'll check some good players from the last few seasons... What about this guy?
Russian Mafia Spy: Erm... how long ago have you gone back?!? Jurgen Klinsmann is from ages ago! He just retired from coach of Germany!
Mourinho: Oh.
Shevchenko: Lets buy Kaká, I played with him in AC Milan and I think he is a great player.
Russian Mafia Advisor: Or, how about we get someone who is 10 years older. Either that or we buy a Cole.
Mourinho: I like your thinking Oudya Nickabollockov! Hmmm what about this Pelé fellow?
Everyone: *silence*
[edit] Typical Transfer no. 3
Abramovich: Alright Mourinho, you've lost the Premiership and the Champions League, so next season I expect a better performance from the team. Basically what I mean is if you give me a rim job I'll inject more funds for your transfers next season.
Special Juan: But Roman, the grass is only greener on the other side if the gardener on that side is better than the gardener on your side.
Abramovich: ...wait, what?
Special Juan: If you want your pants up after you're done on the toilet, you must pull them up yourself, unless you trained your dog to do it for you.
Abramovich: Y'Wotfudd??? Stop playing these mind games with me Jose! Listen, my funds are limited this year, I think its time to sell a few of your unused players and get some cash back instead of just leeching off me.
Special Juan: But that's the difference, because the Special Juan won't compromise on his integrity to enforce a subjugated anomaly for the betterment of social causes such as racism and bigotry between the undereducated feminist chauvinist pigs. That is why I need money to buy another near fossilized player...I'm thinking maybe Ronaldo, Nedved or Scholl?
Abramovich: Well....um....you make a very persuasive argument, how about I'll let you buy all three if you give me that rim job?
Special Juan: No problem! Wait, whats a rim job?
Abramovich: You'll see... *wink*
[edit] Chel$ki's 'support'
Chelseas Supporters are known to be mindless, blonde, blue eyed and have no common sense. Hence the reason for supporting this Fulham side. The supporters of Chelsea FC are imaginary - but the opaque appearance of the crowd that shout at the dopey players behind the goals are of computered technology (That have been brought - like the premiership). But those idiots who claim to support Chelsea are oblivious to the bribes being handed over by the club. The only reason fans somehow wish to follow this hopeless team.
There are rumours that Chel$ki have no support. This is without foundation, and usually claimed by those who don't remember their fathers running away from Chel$ki's fans on a weekly basis. There main support comes at home games, played at Stamford Bridge, a state of the art 60,000 seater stadium sponsored by a famous airline. Chelsea always sell out their tickets to matches due to the exciting free flowing football they play - unlike their rivals Londres, who barely fill half their 40,000 seater 1970's shit hole. Chelsea fans humour Londres supporters by singing witty and synoapated songs such as "you can't fill your stadium" to the tune KarmaChameleon by Boy George.
A smart man once said that only a no legged and no armed retard would support a team which has more nationalities that your face
There are rumours that all Chel$ki fans are in fact parrots, considering their uncanny ability to echo absolutely everything that Jose Mourinho says. Example:
Mourinho: "It did not cross the line. Cheat Cheat Cheat. As we say in Portugal, they CHEAT!"
Chel$ki fan in a debate: "It did not cross the line. Cheat Cheat Cheat. As they say in Portugal, they CHEAT!"
Mourinho: I AM THE SPECIAL ONE!
Chel$ki fan in debate: HE IS THE SPECIAL ONE!
An experiment was carried out to see if any Chel$ki fans actually had any independent thought. A fan was asked his opinion about a clear penalty given against John Terry during a 4-0 loss to Sheffield Wednesday, without having previously heard Mourinho's opinion. Here is a transcript of the discussion:
Interviewer: So, what did you think of that foul by Terry? It looked a stonewall penalty, broken leg as well...
Chel$ki Fan: Yes, I have to agree with you, my good chum. It was a frightfully misadvised challenge by Mr. Terry, I must concede.
Interviewer: Interesting. *Notes down* Now, I'll play a video of Jose Mourinho's interview after the match. *puts on tape*
Mourinho: THEY CHEAT! dive dive dive! Terry got the ball, the player broke his own leg. I am the Special One.
Interviewer: Okay, so what did you think of the second goal?
Chel$ki Fan: Who cares? THEY CHEAT! dive dive dive! Terry got the ball, the Wednesday guy broke his own leg. Jose is the special one. *Refuses to shake interviewer's hand, walks off*
Interviewer: Quite.
Check out a crazy Mourihno song at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UBniDRCcciI
[edit] Rivalry
Chel$ki's unrivalled status, wealth and glory has seen them acquire envious rivals from around the world. As such, teams from Timbuktoo to Antarctica like to think they are genuine rivals. These include (in order of their enviousness): Scouserpool FC, Londrés, Horse Manure, San Antonio Spurs, East Spam Divided, Millwall, Emptypig, and Queer Stark Nakers. They've even taken to acquiring slightly less wealthy owners of their own. However, such is Chel$ki's glory and greatness, none of these teams even register on the radar. The only way for fans of the above teams to get some form of victory is by editing their uncyclopedia page, proof that Chel$ki are indeed the most popular, talked about and successful team in the world.
Contrary to the popular opinion that a club's rivals should be based nearby (which would make Fulham or QPR Chelsea's rivals), the Ruskies have decided that their foes need to be just as nouveau riche as themselves, and have therefore started an extremely heated battle of glory hunting with the fans of ManUre, leading to fierce debate in small middle class villages in the Home Counties, Cheshire and Devon over who is the most bestest at 'football'.
[edit] Michael Essien
Another notable advantage was the use of Michael Essien, who was a former kickboxer in the remote village of Ghana. Known for his sexual frustrations, Essien was famous for promoting the use of Viagra in soccer matches, as they seemed to give him a burst of hormonal rage, in which he would attempt to kick strikers, teammates, referees and mascots in the genital region. As angry as he is one thing's for sure, he's one ugly son of a bitch. Essien also holds the record of biggest forehead in the Premier League beating the much underated and rather shit Ashley Young of Aston "martin o'neil" Villa
[edit] Didhedive Drogba
Also known as "the dying swan"(since he has learned english, he has now officially changed his name to DIDIER 'DOG-BRA'), Drogba is one of the all time legends of the Chel$ki squad, despite being burdened with 'Klinsmann's disease', a terrible balance insufficiency syndrome which makes the patient tip over at the slightest movement of air around him. Upon first coming to London, Drogba was in hospital for weeks on end due to embarrassing falling-on-the-street-and-sobbing-like-a-child incidents, which led to him being kicked to shit by all sorts of Londonfolk (usually old ladies). To prevent this from happening, his pimp (Jose in a gimp suit) assigned him two mugs for bodyguards: a short black man from Droggy's homeland called 'Slalom', no 'Shalom', (no that's not right, 'Sharona'? 'Salmonella'? Hell, I'll just call him Baloo - I wanna be like you-ooo-ooo) and a fuck face solowwwmen kallloooowww(drogba's fav bum boy). They were instructed not to do anything whilst around him (they were specifically prohibited from kicking balls into open nets), and to throw their hands in the air and shout indignantly whenever Didi-doo suffered from one of his fits.
A recent improvement in form has led to accusations that Drogba has sold his soul to Satan. These claims have not been substantiated, and a far more likely conclusion is that Drogba got laid. Cashley Cole has refused to comment on this but was seen leaving Drogba's flat with a spaniel.
Large sections of football supporters despise Drogba,and in some extreme cases they deny the man's very existence. Recent studies have shown that Drogba does actually exist although he has no reflection.
[edit] Juan Terrie
Chel$ki Abramograd FC is known for their impenetrable (literally) defense in the F.A. (Fuck All) Cup, headed (again, literally) by Juan Terrie. Terrie or formally known as wise one, a former Mexican escape convict and rhino enthusiast, mimics the tactic of using spearhead attacks with his sharpened hairstyle against oncoming players. In fact Terrie will stop short of stabbing a player repeatedly and mutilating the body, then taking off his belt and whipping the referee before he pulls out a card , and finally single handedly killing every single player on the other team by tackling them...in the face. "Its just a bit of friendly competition, all in the name of winning the ball eh?" he would say in his post match interviews, before tackling the reporters and cameramen. He's known for his famous group orgy with all the Coles. They say it was the 1st time hes ever let any balls in 'round the back. Not such an "impenetrable" defence anymore is it? He's also got a knack of being retarded as soon as any player with an inkling of skill tries to pass him with the ball at their feet. Ronaldinho is most famous for this, as when Chelski played barcelona in the Champions league, Ronaldinho dribbled up to him, spat in his face, nutmegged him repeatedly then did the old "hey look behind you" trick before rounding him (not without knocking him embarrassingly to the ground first) and slotting the ball past Petr Check. The reason that Terry looks like a retard is largely due to the fact that so much bondage sex with Abramovic has mentaly scared him...Sad, yet devastatingly true. Abandoning the Mexican society that shunned his passion for rhinos, Terrie has long discarded his sombrero and revealed the hard, horny head for which he has been famous for. He is famous for his sound defensive abilities, never shies of clearing the ball with his hand with the aid of referees being paid by the Russian Mafia to close both eyes. He was also caught eating chelsea buns with a arse-anal fan. A lesser known fact is he adores 15 year old girls and loves taking them for a ride (literally) in his Bentleyski, and is now the captain of England FC.
[edit] Frank 'Hungry Hungry Hippo' Lampard
Also known as Fat Lumpolard, the 'highly skilled' central midfielder is recognised as one of the 'bestplayers in the world, especially as he came 2nd in the largely irrelevant FIFA Player of the Year competition, after the wonky teethed Brazilian bloke. After England's most successful World Cup since 2005, many non-Chel$ki fans felt that the fat prat had been largely to blame for the lack of life in England's midfield, and began to wonder why he had never been dropped from the England squad, just like he was dropped by his mother "accidentally" as a child. Some compared his shooting tactic to that of the US Army: eventually one of them has to hit a large arab nation. Many people began to suspect that Frank was in fact born a retard, or just plays well in Chel$ki, as team members are often seen speaking to him, perhaps reminding him to kick as hard and straight as he can towards the different shirt-coloured player standing between the posts (ie. the goalkeeper, other theories are that he is infact a genius and has developed the ability to teleport and so goes down the pie shop for about 60 minutes of the game, reappears and accidentally kicks the ball into an opposing player which by chance bounces into their net. Top physicists are studying frank very carefully at this moment to work out how he can defy the laws of physics.
He says he does intend to lose weight, and donate the fat to a needy African country, this is because if he grows much larger he will implode into himself causing a shite hole, ane no one wants another liverpool do we? Furthermore, he is expected to start for Chelsea next year, because his uselessness is masked by the rest of the squad, and Michael Ballack was only signed to prevent other clubs getting him, along with Obi-Wan Mikobi.
For more see Frank Lampard.
[edit] Andre Shitchenko
In the summer of 2006 Ukrainian king Shitchenko signed for Chel$ki for £30 billion. after finding it hard to adapt to the English game, and falling out with manager Jose Mourinho, Shitchenko needed a way to repay the faith (and money) shown in him. It is said that one night, on double date with his wife and the Abramobi£ths they went to the cinema and saw a film that gave him an award winning idea. This is when he decided to film a documentary of his life and attempt to adapt to English culture theoretically killing two birds with one, giant stone. SHITCHENKO: Cultural Learnings of Chel$ki for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Ukraine was a box office smash with rave reviews, "the funniest film of the year" by Johnathan Woss, "so funny i pissed my self" by Total Film and "yeah was good, i liked it and the bit wi..." by Joe Cole were just some of the films reviews. costing only three million to make and raking in 100mil back it was a blockbuster and Shevchenko is in talks to make it into a West End play.
[edit] Special Juan
Jose Mourinho was born in a shabby back street in a Portuguese fishing village, and went on to become one of the characters of world football. 'Special Juan' or 'scruffy cunt', as dubbed by his neighbours at his hilarious specialness, was destined to become a top coach after being nurtured by ex-England boss Sir Robby "Barca" Bobson. Special Juan made his name with Portuguese crack-side Porto, with whom he won the UEFA Champions League in 2004, but was lured away by the Russian Mafia to the fine surrounds of Moscow, where he took up the reigns at Chel$ki. Having spent millions of laundered roubles on top talent like Didhedive Drogba, he led Chel$ki to their first league title for 50 years. However, despite the heavy investment, the ultimate club prize still eludes Chel$ki, and it is likely that his Russian bosses will lose patience and send in the firing squad in the summer to Siberia. In his spare time Jose models coats for Matalan, advertises Samsung mobile phones, scowls, and is a body double for George Clooney and the angry pensioner, the Hollywood actor and heart-throb. He is expected to sign as spokesman for Gillette's new hair trimming set any time now. Update May 2007: the Special Juan is to be replaced at Chel$ki by big fat bung in an evelope specialist $am Allarweallhaveaprice. The super rich crook Abramovich fired the Special Jaun after his spineless team of whinging cunts surrendered the Premier League to Man Ure, a Scottish - American conglomerate based in the southern Scottish city of Madchester.
[edit] Moutinho Quits
After guiding Chelski to their most average Premiership start in years, Moutinho sensationally quit the club via MMS message. He filmed himself on his mobile wiping his bottom with a Chelsea shirt with "Abramovich ££" on the back. He also broke up with his wife Juan Terrie via text message, amidst rumours he may be reuniting with his ex-wife Frank Lampard. Possible replacements for Moutinho have already been touted, including Graeme Souness, Roy Evans, and the slightly more successful manager George Clooney (in that he hasn't either a) ruined Liverpool or b) under-achieved with Liverpool).
[edit] Peter Kenyan
Originally from Kenya, the man they call "The Slippery Slaphead" has made quite an impression since moving to Chel$ki. Bald as a coot, he has a track record of failing to "seal the deal", but his appointment is already paying dividends. Kenyan was the mastermind behind Chel$ki's new away kit, which is selling in record numbers. Kenyan had this to say: "201 have been sold so far, which, for a neon yellow nylon t-shirt with the name of a Japanese mobile phone company emblazoned on the front, is not too shabby." The shirt has become the latest must-have accessory on the terraces of Stamford Bridge.
[edit] Team of Coles
Chel$ki are currently attempting to create a team full of Coles. Currently they employ Cashley Cole and Joe 'I shall not pass!' Cole. Carlton Cole is bound to make a return to Chel$ki soon, to accommodate this plan. They are also looking into the potential signing of Old King Cole who will play centre forward and will be fully decked out in his beard and crown. There are also rumours telling that the old United player Andy Cole will sign a contract with Chel$ki in exchange for a barrel of gold. They also attempted to sign legendary songwriter Cole Porter, but retracted their bid when they discovered he'd been dead for a good thirty years. Nat King Cole is in the works, and there are also rumours that they will sign Chris Coleman as their first team coach sooner rather than later. Soon, they will be able to sell Coles to Newcastle.
uncscest
[edit] Records
1st in Pie-Munching contest 2006 (Frank Fatty Lampard), Pet of the Year 2006 (Didier Dogbra), Actor of the Year 2006 (Arjen Bobben)
[edit] Search for Sue is over
In the search for a new manager, chairman Allan M thought that Big Sue C would be gud for the job.
