Chick-Fil-A
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Chick-Fil-A is a fast food chain that is established across the Midwest, Southern, Eastern Seaboard and New England areas of the United States.
As their name might imply, they specialize in fried chicken breasts, though they do have a very small emphasis on fattening, sugary breakfast foods. All fried foods at Chick-Fil-A are fried in peanut oil, rendering them less-fattening than say, anything you'll find at McDonalds, but much more deadly for those people out there whom find themselves allergic to peanuts.
Chick-Fil-A has a long history of being a haven for American family values. This, coupled with their long-standing refusal to serve anyone hamburgers, double whoppers, or krabby patties, made them a favorite of Christians, Black People and cows everywhere.
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[edit] Humble beginnings
Chick-Fil-A was founded in the 1940s or 50s by S. Truett Cathy, a humble Christian/Hindu man with a woman's first name for his last name.
Mr. Truett believed in family values (as well as other conservative ideals), and for this reason, Chick-Fil-A remains closed every Sunday. Because of the nature of the founder, many American Christians are fond of Chick-Fil-A. *Chick-Fil-A started as one restaurant and was soon a staple of local shopping malls.
- Chick-Fil-A holds the position of being the starter of the American Food Court
- Chick-Fil-A restaurants do not receive their chicken from other people. Instead, each restaurant keeps a coop full of chickens in the back. There, the employees cut off the chicken's head, pluck off all the feathers by hand, rip out its bones, and cut the raw chicken up. It is said to be a bloody mess.
- Chick-Fil-A hopes to one day take over the world and kill all chickens on planet Earth. Kinda like a poultry hating Hitler.
[edit] Chick-Fil-A in modern days
One can go to Chick-Fil-A for one of many reasons (including, but not limited to: delicious food, terrible music, Christian atmosphere, blessed chicken), but most go for the entire experience.
[edit] Experience
- Many patrons feel that the peanut oil, blessed every morning by a Catholic priest, imbues a Religious nature on the chicken; These patrons feel that it helps them get closer to Christ.
- Most Chick-Fil-A locations play a variety of modern Christian Rock bands on their in-store radio station, bringing a joy and happiness to many deaf patrons.
[edit] Food
- Chick-Fil-A serves a variety of delicious lunch and dinner foods, which include, but are not limited to: fried chicken sandwiches, grilled chicken sandwiches, mayonnaise, fried chicken sandwiches, chicken nuggets, fried chicken sandwiches, mayonnaise, grilled chicken wraps, fried chicken sandwiches, chicken strips, mayonnaise, fried chicken sandwiches, cole slaw and most importantly, fried chicken sandwiches
- Chick-Fil-A also has an extensive breakfast menu, consisting of cinnamon buns, hot-Crucifix buns (for that extra religious experience), fried chicken on a biscuit, mayonnaise and other assorted breakfast sandwiches
[edit] Negative media attention
- In 1998, the American Vegetable Shortening Farmers of America called for a boycott of Chick-Fil-A, citing that their overwhelming use of peanut oil was hurting the industry.
- In 2005, the United States Department of Education started a campaign aimed at stopping Chick-Fil-A's "Eat Mor Chikin" campaign, citing that is was the sole cause of hundreds-of-thousands of American school-children misspelling words.
- Today, people whine and moan about how expensive Chick-Fil-A can be. These people obviously live in the ghetto.
[edit] Amazing Side Effects
Chick Fil A has also been found to cure cancer. It also makes you live forever and makes a generally better person. Plus, after you eat just one sandwich, you achieve total enlightenment. It's true. I was there. I did it. It happened. SHUN THE NON-BELIEVERS!!!!!!!!!!
[edit] Other Information
- Contrary to popular belief, Chick-fil-a restaurants do not serve Colt 45.
