Chicken man

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Image:Watchinu.gif
I'm watching you. Think about what you're doing.


“Look, on the ground! Is it a rat? Is it a car? No it's Chicken Man!!!”

~ 4 random people on what they think they saw

“Chicken Man? Is he French? Because I heard that the French were a bunch of chickens”

~ Oscar Wilde on Chicken Man & WarinIraqphobics

Chicken Man (Born Clucktober 14, 1962) is a real life superhero that fearlessly protects the city of Jesustown which suspiciously seems to be the only city in the world attacked by supervillains. He currently resides in Jesustown and his real name is... wait, I'm not going to tell a chicken hating sadist what Chicken Man's real name is, you should be ashamed of yourself, trying to fleece an innocent superhero out of his real name. I haven't seen something this low since the American public re-elected George Dubya.

Look at this noble man, don't you feel a hell of a lot safer? I do, and so does Der Furher.
Look at this noble man, don't you feel a hell of a lot safer? I do, and so does Der Furher.
The creator of the great Chicken Man, Chicken Man's father, Chicken Man Sr. See, even miracles can come from the most unlikely place, like a chicken's ding-dong.
The creator of the great Chicken Man, Chicken Man's father, Chicken Man Sr. See, even miracles can come from the most unlikely place, like a chicken's ding-dong.

Contents

[edit] Origins

Chicken Man first got his superpowers in 1980 after eating a radioactive power bar while riding in a suped up '68 Mustang baby. "Ohhh that was a sweet ride!" said Chicken Man while feasting on that giant fucker of a power bar, "I feel different," he continued, "it's like I can take on the world!" and that was the moment when Chicken Man was born, it must be true if it's on the internet.


[edit] Supervillains

In a bizarre coinkydink, around the same time that Chicken Man got his wings, many villains started to challenge Chicken Man and his beliefs, which are your rights to freedom of expression, so you next time you call Paris Hilton a whore, you better damn well thank Chicken Man for him standing up for you man, player respect. Here are some supervillains that have battled Chicken Man recently.

  • The Manic Blogger
  • The Butcher
  • The Axe-Man
  • Mr. Thanksgiving
  • Roger the one-armed defence attorney
  • That guy who's always standing on the corner of your street looking at you weirdly every time you pass, I think his name's Pete or Pat something with a 'P'
  • George W. Bush (still an ongoing battle)
  • The Wikipedian
  • Low Self Confidence Man
  • The Master Plucker
  • Dr. Dumbass Who Thinks Elvis Is Still Alive
  • That kid you went to school with who laughed hysterically when someone made a bad pun
  • The guy who started those Chuck Norris jokes
  • Superman
  • Jesus, in a bout of jealousy over their respective godliness.
  • McDonalds over their desire to make chickenman into a million dollar set of chicken mcnuggets


[edit] Later Life

Chicken Man is still out there protecting the world, but not as much since he has recently taken up golf which is easier on his back than crimefighting. Also, all his arch-enemies are getting like, old, so they sleep alot, which frees up time for Chicken Man, which is cool, like the word ROFLMAO, man the guy who thought of that must be the coolest guy in the world.


[edit] See Also

Retrieved from "http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Chicken_man"
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