Chicken soup of death
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“What does a man have to do to get some food around here?”
~ Oscar Wilde on Chicken soup of death
“Hey! The CSOD is the BSOD of Linux, right?”
~ Blue screen of death on Chicken soup of death
There are several things that "the chicken soup of death" may refer to, in the following fields:
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[edit] Theology
Alternatively known as "the long, hot death", this is the theory that, after death, the human soul is mixed into a fine chicken soup, delicious enough to feed the gods. Oscar Wilde is rumored to be the only person to have actually tasted the soup, as the gods are too busy doing ineffable things to bother eating anything.
It was reportedly "Almost as good as what Mom used to make." ~ Oscar Wilde
[edit] Weaponry
The chicken soup of death is a theoretical awesome weapon that may or may not be related to the first, theological sense. The idea behind this weapon is that it is a chicken soup so good that, rather than curing diseases like regular chicken soup, it actually causes diseases and eventual death. Such a death is inevitably delicious and painless due to the ass-kicking taste of the soup. Like many weapons, this can be used as an instrument of suicide, and is preferable to many other forms if one can afford the price.
If the person eating the soup possesses a significant amount of awesomeness, they may be immune to these effects. "Fools. You have only made me stronger than you could ever imagine." ~ Oscar Wilde
[edit] Physics
This is the theory that the end of the universe will be a heat death, with all matter swirling inward in long strings and clumps to mix together into an amazingly hot mixture of soup-like matter. Some religious physicists like Steven Hawking believe that the Chicken Soup of Death theological theory is a psychic prediction of this heat death, ingrained into humanity's consciousness due to the trauma of such an event occurring.
[edit] Pharmacutical
The Chicken Soup of Death is the street name of an extremely powerful and highly addictive designer hallucinogen. Although the exact recipe varies based upon the supplier, the main stream drug is a concoction containing powdered peyote, Phenobarbital, Rohypnol, cherry flavored cough syrup, and of course condensed chicken soup (usually Campbells). It is also often cut with PCP, LSD, and even occasionally 40W motor oil.
The effects vary based upon the amount consumed and the user’s biochemistry; however, consumers generally experience an intense psychotropic effect combined with a near catatonic state lasting several hours, sometimes up to a week. Most report vivid dreams almost always pertaining to a surreal dining experience in various common albeit inappropriate locations. Although the sequence varies, many include common elements. The most pronounced of these is the vision of Douglas Adams in a bright purple chicken suit acting as the maitre d’, who often offers himself as the main course. Another very common element, particularly toward the conclusion of the hallucination, is the appearance of Oscar Wilde, generally naked or in a clown suit, spouting obscene haiku and random quotations from obscure 17th century poetry, concluding with the expression, “Would you like an after dinner mint?”
Upon emerging from the worst of the hallucinations, the consumer spends several minutes clucking like a chicken, followed by an exclamation similar to, “Damn! Now that’s great soup! Please sir; can I have some more?” accompanied by an evacuation of their bowels and projectile vomiting. Other known side-effects are severe dehydration, myopia, priaprism, and an over-powering urge to lay eggs.
The long term effects have yet to be determined; nevertheless, the short term addiction is undeniable. Addicts will consume ever increasing amounts of the substance, l
