Chief Wiggum
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“I'm your Venus. I'm your fire. Your desire.”
~ Chief Wiggum
Chief Wiggum, born to Overlord Rap'thanum by one of his many concubines, in the 7th day of our Lord, Cameron Abbiz- currently resides in a sterile plastic bunker beneath Ganja, Iran. He is chief to the agricultural Jaundice tribes.
It is there he oversees the construction of a vast information network, being built solely of lymph nodes from many Morgan Freeman clones.
[edit] Wiggum, the early years
As is customary in the MSG star system, youths are adopted by roving bands of wandering revenants. These revenants have mastered the ancient art of producing brick shaped fecal matter, a highly prized skill in this domain. He tried, at one point, to create genetically mutated sheep with fur made of cotton candy. However, he failed miserably. Due to this, he is one of the victims of the infamous Killer Sheep.
Wiggum, for all his efforts, was unable to defecate, much less produce a refractory crap. Although the revenants understood this to be a result of his being conceived in a jelly medium, they were most unforgiving. The actions they performed on his fragile infant body are too horrific to be named, but for the sake of the pursuit of knowledge, an elephant and a bowl of hot wax were involved.
He developed a terminal psychosis that was responsible for his being expelled from his home system. During a visit to the zoo, he glimpsed several pachyderms, and became catatonic. Upon regaining conciousness, he threw several clowns into a woodchipper, bagged the slush, and used the heat radiating out to cook a bag of popcorn, which he then served to the ringmaster.
He was expelled to Springfield.
