Chinese Tea History: Finger Tapping
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The next time you're dining at a Chinese restaurant, try to observe what happens when someone's cup is refilled. You might notice the person tapping the table with three fingers. This gesture dates back to the Qing Dynasty (1644 - 1911 A.D) where there lived a tiger in the outskirts of the province of Fuking (Hokkien) who loved to drink tea.
This particular tiger, Chi-Sin-Lao-Fu, was a direct descendant of Tigger (of Winnie the Pooh fame). Tired of bouncing around all day (it wreaks havoc on the paddy fields in China), Chi-Sin-Lao-Fu acquired a distinct liking for Chinese tea.
Tea contains dihydrogen monoxide, a deadly toxin that, with prolonged exposure, shrivels up the (ab)user's skin not unlike a raisin. The Fukers (locals in Fuking) knew this, and being the lovey-dovey people they were, tried to stop Chi-Sin-Lao-Fu from self-pwnage by hiding all the tea in their hats and telling Chi-Sin-Lao-Fu that there were no more tea in China. Some Chinese scholars have also noted that shriveled Tiger skin fetches a lower price in the markets.
However, Chi-Sin-Lao-Fu sensed a conspiracy, the same feeling he had felt when the Emperor told him that the Great Wall of China, when viewed from outer space, is actually an image of a man flipping the bird to God. Soon he found out about the tea in the Fukers' hats, and went on a rampage, snatching at the local's headgears with his three-fingered paws (he lost the other fingers to vacuum-frostbite while confirming the Emperor's bird-flipping story in space). He terrorized the Fuking region for months, snatching away at top hats, ski masks, burkhas and turbans alike in search for his preciousssss tea, stopping only to boil water and to consume his contraband tea while watching the 8 o'clock news. Years later, this period of turmoil would be dubbed the Fuking Hat Incident.
The Monkey God Gokou caught wind of the Fukers' plight, and decided to interrupt his quest to collect Dragon Balls to absolve this matter (As Chinese scholars have noted, it was an election year). Gokou arrived at Fuking, smacked Chi-Sin-Lao-Fu silly with a trout and ordered him to stop harassing the Fukers. In return, the Fukers were to respect his right to drink as much tea as he wished. Chi-Sin-Lao-Fu, jubilant that he had won back his right to drink tea, started the gesture of tapping his 3-fingered paws on the table as a reminder to the Fukers of the Fuking Hat Incident.
