Chocolate digestive
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The average chocolate digestive is largely misunderstood, and so is the process of which they come to being. The general assumption is that the chocolate digestive is made in a factory, put in a packet and shipped off to the world to the delight of many small beings known as financial burdens or "children". This is not the truth.
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[edit] The Actual Process
Chocolate biscuits are the 3rd and final stage in the metamorphosis of the packet itself. The lifecycle of chocolate digestive pods or CDPs are rather complex. Like all other larger life forms the CDP has 2 distinctive genders, commonly known as dark chocolate, and milk chocolate, and though their growth differs slightly, the general idea remains the same.
[edit] Stages
The first stage is simply a kind of slug, which leaves behind it a glistening layer of ooze, which shares many of the characteristics of chocolate but is rather bitter. Once it reaches 2 weeks old they slowly, over a period of 6 hours, begin to adopt a far more cylindrical shape, this is its chrysalis, once this is done it reads the mind of anyone close by to and adopts a series colours and patterns on its body will look most agreeable to the mind it reads (the idea being that the creature will take it back to its nets), since these minds belong to businessmen, it takes whichever form the businessmen assumes will get it sold, and thus the brand structure is formed.
Once these processes take place the CDPs are sold to shops and subsequently to customers, who indeed take them home (usually). What the 2nd stage of the CDP is never left to fully mature, (the financial burdens just can’t keep their grubby little hands of them) we do not know what the 3rd stage is meant to accomplish, and all attempts to find out have resulted in a rather a lot of overweight scientists.
[edit] Appearance
Only a handful of people know what the fully developed chocolate digestive looks like (besides the companies that breed them of cause) these are the owners of the packets who open them weeks after they bought them, to find that once dropped, the chocolate digestive will fall on its edge and make a gallant attempt to escape, unfortunately these are still infants and so they never actually manage (though one chocolate digestive nearly did, it made it out of the kitchen all the way to the front door, dodging furious attempts by the owner to grab it, before falling on its side.... this has actually happened (no seriously)) the chocolate digestive, like the cow, is just another example of the horrors of selective breeding.
