Chuck E. Cheese
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“If only the world had a place where a kid could be a kid, and I can be a perv. If only.”
“Get tickets for tolkens”
~ Chuck E. Cheese on Everyone
“I SHOULD GET TOLKENS!”
~ Chuck E. Cheese on Crack
“I should stare at those tolkens”
~ Chuck E. Cheese on Boobs
Chuck E. Cheese (b 1960 Charles Edward Cheese) is a maniacal tool / demon that is still alive today. It, or 'he' as it calls himself now after 'he' grew a penis, owns a factory that creates mind-boggling creations served to satisfy the desires of small children that are forced to go to his display conventions of their own accord. He is allied with Wikipedia and the Czech Republic in their cruel attempt to take over the universe. He is currently suspected of being Orochimaru in disguise, as eyewitnesses have apparently spotted him ripping off his face and wearing others' faces as masks.
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[edit] History of Chuck E. Cheese
Chuck E.Cheese actually derives from a little known chain, which was called "SHOWBIZ PIZZA." Originally, a front for laundering crime money from his Guda cheese smuggling racket, the Chuckster aka Daniel MacCormick was riding high on the cheese craze of the late 80s. Unfortunatley, FBI jr or the ATF as they like to be called, overstepped their obscure jurisdiction, and conducted a raid on a showbiz in Kennebunkport, Maine. The ATF without a warrant, Chuckster quickly changed the name of his chain to Chuck E. Cheese to keep the poorly funded and grousely under trained government agency off his trail. On a side note, Chuck E. (or "Chucky", as his minions and enthralled children call him) used to wander the high roads of Ancient Greece feeding on the flesh of cheese-like children or the wonderful goodness of cheese itself. He has always had a desire for cheese from the moment he saw it at his own creation. He will stop at nothing to obtain it.
you are freaking dipshits
[edit] "Chucky" in Modern Days
Now Chuck E. Cheese owns a factory which creates inventions used to draw children to his display shows across the world. Once the children are lured into there they are tested for their cheese content by eating plastic-tasting Cheese Pizza. These plastic-tasting pizzas are promptly vomited by disgusted children, and are then tested by his minions (disguised as janitors and bus boys). If the child has a high cheese content, he is taken into the back-room and raped to death before being savagely eaten alive by Chuck E. Chucky is not what he seems to be, in front of parents who allow their kids to attend the Chucky display show. Camera and photo shots from back-stage seem to show the mouse masturbating over a piece of cheese and molesting low cheese-content children, though these videos are believed to be AudioEdited, PhotoChopped, and MeTubed.
Chucky is also the owner of the CBS network in East Monkey Land.
Chuck E. has recently taken some time off and has been learning from fellow rapist and cheese lover Michael Jackson.
It is a common myth that Tyler Durden started Project Mayhem, but Chuck E. is infact the founder of this holy and noble movement. Yoko is Chuck E.'s new friend.
[edit] Chuck E.'s relations to O.J.
Chuck E. has inspired Orange Juice Simpson to write his famous book "If I raped a kid at the back of a Chuck E. Cheese's." Which followed Orange Juice's first book. And just like the other one it was quickly taken off the shelves. This quickly lead to more lonely men coming into Chuck E. Cheese's instead of young boys like Chucky would've liked. This is when Chucky decided to change his slogan from "I like cheese!" to "Where a kid can be a kid" and stopped advertising on the Playgirl channel and started sponsoring PBS. Chucky then quickly raped Orange Juice and sent him to jail. Orange Juice thought he was getting remarried. His wedding can be found here
[edit] Chuck E.'s Inventions
- Unmovable video game console (U. S. Patent # 9,593,340)
- Plastic-tasting Cheese Pizza with sauce that is more solid than the bread (U. S. Patent # 8,945,299)
- Gumballs laced with LSD (conflicting reports as to the inventor)
- Stained, dirty floors (Patent rejected due to prior art)
- Big purple faces that consume rubber balls children shoot at them (U. S. Patent # 9,723,211)
- Large nets that entangle high cheese-content children (Patent pending)
- An arena of urine soaked plastic balls (for the heterosexual children) (U. S. Patent # 9,230)
- A confusing labyrinth of plastic tunnels which lead to Chuck E.'s lair (disqualified for patenting after the U. S. Patent and Trademark Office lawyers decided Windows 95 could not be patented)
- Expert marketing, requiring a minimum of $4986.21 be paid in order to receive a minimum of 5,000 tokens to exchange for tickets in games for the Hot Wheels car instead of just going to the 99 cents store and buying one. (In the mathemical equation used to find this answer, you must add amount of tokens you would waste on the Jurrasic park game and still not get tickets)+5,000 divided by the number of times a little ******** baby cried inside of a Chuck E Cheeses because it was waken up.
- Chuck E. Cheese was converted into a strip club in 2008.
 | The 12 Fundamental Cheeses | ||||
| Chucky
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| Holy*
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| *Not to be confused with "Holey" Cheese | |||||
| The 3 Noble Cheeses | |||||
| *Also known as "Negative Cheese" or "Dark Dematta" | |||||
Categories: Cheese | Evil | Mammals | Fast Food
