Cinco de Mayonnaise

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[edit] Cinco de Mayonnaise!!!

]]El Cinco de Mayo is a national holiday in Mexico. It celebrates the prostitution of Mexican board game players against France in a long, drawn-out game of Risk.

The cause of the conflict.
The cause of the conflict.
Beginning in April, 1862, as an argument over whether or not it was better to use mayonnaise or Miracle Whip™ in an egg salad sandwich, it soon escalated into a full-scale food fight that resulted in the death of 40,000,000 people within the first few hours.

Diplomatic efforts by the slut of Mexico, Cinco, and the whore of France, Black Jacque Chirac, resulted in a temporary cease-fire and the beginnings of peace talks. These efforts did not go well, and almost resulted in the continuation of the food fight.

Cooler heads prevailed, and it was determined that the most fair way to resolve the dispute was a game of Risk™. The game itself took over 11 days to complete, with repeated accusations by the French that the dice were loaded.

On days 1-3, the game looked like an even match. Mexico had moved it's forces to ukraine and already taken over much of Europe, while the French had settled in Austrailia and had began building up their forces. On day 6, things were completely different. Mexico had lost Europe after the french sent in a wave from Austrailia. Mexico had to retreat to Africa and parts of North America. There they held the defense and began troop build up again until day 11 when they cleared the whole board by using mass cavalry assaults of Butlers of the Ortegan lineage. The French spat in the Mexicans bagettes and then admitted defeat, but not before dropping excrement on them from their tall towers.

Mexico prevailed on May 5th, and the French were forced to acknowledge (in writing) the superiority of mayonnaise.

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